Funny Articles

Founding Father Fail!

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George Washington rips off the NY Public Library!

It was revealed today that the Father of our country — none other than George Washington himself — checked out some books from the NY Public Library and never returned them.

“Law of Nations” and a volume of debates from the House of Commons were the books in question. C’mon. Who would steal books like these? This might have made sense if it was something a little saucier.

And to make matters worse, this heinous crime seems to have been premeditated. You see, he didn’t even give his real name, simply listing “president” as the borrower. Clearly this was in hopes of not being identified down the road.

Now we find out that his fines for the books — which were due FEBRUARY 2, 1789 — adjusted for inflation, would be about $300,000 today. That’s Grand Theft Literature!

In addition to the fine, which is reason enough to keep the purloined texts, he would also have to deal with this woman. Who, amazingly, is the actual librarian that checked out the books to him in the first place.

Old George may have copped to the whole Cherry Tree thing but the “cannot tell a lie” idea is out the window.

Thank you, Mr. First President, for setting a horrible example for the youth of today!