Going To College? Here Are The 5 Fears You’ll Face
College is many things…exciting, fun, insane, wonderful, disgusting, CRAAAZAAYYYY, and SCARY. Admit it or not, but we are all fraidy cats when it comes to going to college. To a high school senior, college is 4 impending years of monsters under the bed. But don’t worry… all of the strangers/potential friends/potential murderers you are going to encounter feel the same way you do. Oh, they’ll try to lie and tell you their cool BUT THEY ARE POOPING INSIDE. And pooping inside is never good…leads to many a health issue and university healthcare is questionable at best. I once was given a Z-pack for a kidney infection. BUT COLLEGE IS GREAT!!!!!! Here are 5 Biggest Fears About Going To College.
5. I don’t belong here.
“I don’t belong here” is a common fear that applies to many a college situation. 1) Oh, man. Everyone here is rushing a sorority and I HAVE A FEAR OF MATCHING OUTFITS!! This was a mistake. I don’t belong here. I’m just going to leave school and go back to work in the chocolate factory. 2) So, this is intro to Women Studies, huh? Ohh…progressive.there are a lot of nerdy guys in Women Studies. RESPECT. Wait, why is the teacher making us do punnett squares? Why does it say Biology on the board? Am I in the wrong classroom? Uh oh…I don’t belong HERE. This never happened at the chocolate factory. It was just one room! 3) Everyone on my hall is going to karaoke. I hate group outings. Luckilly, I have an awesome go to karaoke song. “I’m a creep…i’m a weirdo…What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here…” It’s going to kill. It used to work magic with all those dudes from the chocolate factory. These are all thoughts that will feel 100%, definitely and with that exact verbiage, but here’s the thing. You do belong…you just haven’t found your exact sweet spot yet. Every college offers so many people and experiences–you just have to find yours. So, whenever you think you don’t belong, just picture your college singing Taylor Swift’s, “you belong with me” to you and you will feel better, because it’s such a ridiculous image.
4. Stranger Danger
Feeling like there are just so many strangers at college is completely normal. They are strangers…it’s basically a scholastic clad sea of people you don’t know. And you will have many different thoughts on the stranger situation. 1) Hello, roommate who I don’t know. It’s Marilyn, right? Oh it’s Marilyn Manson? That’s cool. Well, is it okay with you if I put this Beiber poster up? I’ve had it up in my room for years. It’s a nostalgic thing and then also if you could not murder me in the night, that would be great! 1) How am I supposed to find the love of my life and my future maid of honor here? They are all strangers! I know nothing about them. What if they have a crazy past like they sniff humus or their family believes Disney movies are a religion. HOW WILL I EVER KNOW?! Barney said “Make new friends, but keep the old…” but how am I supposed to make friends with these people?! Also, WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT BARNEY? 3) Okay, but mom told me to never talk to strangers. How am I going to survive college without speaking? There are a lot of weirdo looking people here. That crazy is singing “Creep” as she walks down the campus. I’m definitely going to get murdered here. It’s going to be in the papers. My mom is going to be so mad at me. People, I am here to tell you that these are very real and rational concerns that are not at all hyperbolic. Stranger danger is something to be aware of, but just be cautious and safe and you’ll be just fine. Just imagine your college is singing “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by Sting, and it will make you feel better, because it will remind you that your professor is hot.
3. I WANT MY MOM!!!
Homesick is a really bad type of sick. The worst kind in fact. There will be a lot of situations that prompt “I want my mom” type thoughts. 1) Aww…It’s may. That means Mother’s Day is coming up. My mom is the best. I should send her some flowers. I’ll have to ask her for some money, so I can buy her a pretty bouquet! I miss her so much!! Oh wait, what? I looked at the calendar wrong. It’s September!! FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!2) Oh no, I woke up with a scratchy throat and my ears feel gunky. I must have west nile. I’m so so so so so sick. I need my mom to help me! Wait, now I’m actually sick AND home sick. That’s two kinds of sick. One kind of sick, I can handle, but 2? I really need her! 3) Oh my god, that freak is singing that Barney song to herself. That’s so crazy! Oh man, I used to love Barney. I would watch it with my mom when I was in the womb and also when I was out of it. Okay, fine I still watch it sometimes with her. I MISS HER!!! Whenever you are feeling like this, just give your mom a call. It helps. Also, you can imagine your college singing “Daughters” by John Mayer, and you will feel better because you will stop thinking about your mom and start thinking about who John Mayer is dating.
2. Odd Future.
College is scary, because it’s the last time you are incubated in a semi-safe (See: Stranger Danger), predictable environment. Once you graduate, it’s just a free-fall of time and space. So, there is a pressure in college to focus in that impending void and prepare yourself for it. There will be many circumstances where you are stressing about your future during those four years. 1) Just….step…away…back…away…slowly from the career fair…) What am I going to eat for lunch today? Should I eat at the dining hall or just heat up an easy mac? Should I get a burrito or pizza or stir fry? Should I eat at 11:30 or 12? I CAN’T DECIDE!!!! I I can decide what I’m going to do in two hours, how will I decide what to do 2 years from now? or 20? or 200? Yes, I’m going to live that long and it’s going to be a long, indecisive 200 years. 3)Well, that girl next to me wrote “May” at the top of her paper and it’s September, so at least my future is brighter than hers. Wait, she got a 94 on the Legends of the Hidden Temple quiz? I got a 76 on that! I hate this 90s pop culture class!! I am worse off than Maytember girl?? MY FUTURE IS GARBAGE!!! The idea of “your future” is a lot to handle at any age…but just try your best to focus on the now, because this fear never goes away. Also, just imagine you college singing any odd future song, and it will make you feel better than you know all the words to an odd future song.
1. Your college will come alive and start singing songs to you.
What are other college fears? Let me know on Twitter or in the comments below!