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Government Issues Recommendation For When It’s Okay To Kill A Zombie

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If my beginning philosophy class at Community College that I quit after the first two weeks taught me anything, it's that killing people is a bad thing to do. But at the same time, if (when) the zombie apocalypse happens, I'm going to kill every zombie that gets in the way of me and Gander Mountain, a place that was clearly designed with a zombie outbreak in mind.

The gun aisle is next to the dried meat aisle which is next to the bow and arrows aisle.

But how to reconcile these two ideas? We can't murder people, and really, what are zombies besides sick people? Thankfully, io9 decided to get to the bottom of this, speaking with David Daigle of the Center for Disease Control. You might remember the CDC from either the first season of The Walking Dead or that time you were exposed to an airborne pathogen.

Interestingly, they too have the gun aisle next to the dried meat aisle next to the bow arrow aisle.

When asked when it would be appropriate to kill a zombie, Daigle's reply was simple — Never. He says:


"I can think of no scenario where that recommendation would be employed, breaking the cycle of transmission is key and if we look at SARS, H1N1 we see pandemics that public health battled one without a vax and one where a vax was developed later using public health techniques of quarantine, isolation, changing behaviors (more washing of hands, social distancing, avoiding mass gatherings, etc)."


I don't know what kind of fantasy land David Daigle of the CDC is living in, but here in the real world zombies aren't easily quarantined.

"If you could please move into a single file line, there will be juice and cookies at the end of all this."

For a philosophical perspective, io9 asked Kyle Munkittrick of Pop Bioethics for an opinion on our ethical culpability when killing a zombie. Thankfully, Munkittrick offered an argument that allows you both peace of mind and a fighting chance of survival.


"Based on the individual and the decisions of trusted surrogates, it may be necessary to euthanize anyone with significant or worse brain damage. To persist in such a state is undignified and violates [the dignity of the human body]."


So if your quality of life has degraded past a certain point, you have to honor that former person's life by putting a bullet in their brain. At that point, killing a zombie is not only justified but the correct moral course of action.

Pictured: altruism.

Of course, this is all conjecture until we actually find ourselves in the zombie apocalypse. How will you react, physically and emotionally, to killing the undead? The comments below are a great place to talk those complex feelings out.

Check out The 10 Types Of Zombies!