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Green Day’s Billie Joe Goes To Rehab

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Billie Joe had a bit of a meltdown on stage, and now he's going to Rehab. Rehab is like Quincinera, or a Barmitzvah for a rock star. It's a necessary right of passage that means you have arrived. The five stages of a rock star's career are 1. Be on the Disney Channel 2. Release self-titled "angry album" 3. Fire your manager for "not getting it." 4. Enter Rehab. 5. Become very zen and only write songs about California.

happy rabbit
We can't show you the video of the meltdown here because Billie says f*ck so many times, so here is a picture of Mr. Biggens, the SMOSH cat-rabbit doing his best impression of Billie Joe having a meltdown.

Yes, the Sun Times reported that Billie Joe got mad when the festival Green Day was performing at gave him only one minute left to finish his set in the middle of a song.

Billie Joe Meltdown


He responded by saying f*ck 30 times, breaking his guitar, and catching a bird that was flying near by and stabbing his band mate Tre Cool to death with its beak.

dudes playing video games in college
"We can't show you Tre Cool being stabbed to death because it's too grisly, so here is Buggles, the SMOSH pig-dog doing his best impression of Billie Joe stabbing Tre Cool to death."

This isn't the first problem the band has had with Billie Joe.

"Billie Joe has been a loose cannon for a long time,” said a Green Day insider."

What does loose cannon mean? Who is this Green Day insider? We were as shocked as you will be to find out it was none other than:

serious general
Scruffly, the SMOSH dog-bat. He infiltrated the band as their lead violinist to get us the inside scoop on all of Billie Joe's troubling shenanigens.

Billie Joe's addictions are common among those who choose the limelight as their workplace. Very few celebrities be they in the world of film, tv, or music don't go through some sort of chemical dependence as their career demands them to be unnaturally exposed to the world around them. Feel free to help celebrities need to enter rehab by not buying US weekly so often, and not driving by their house really slowly hoping to get a picture of them in their bathrobe. In the meantime let's all hope Billie Joe gets better so we can get more songs about making out with a chick under a streetlight.

billie joe past
Picture above is Billie Joe, in happier times.

What is your on stage meltdown going to look like? Let us know in the comments below!


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