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High School Bucket List

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We flashback to the spring of 2004, a small suburban home in Northern Virginia, Dan sits at a computer…

“Ah balls is it May already? I haven’t finished my Korean War diorama for AP History. Damnit! I just keep listening to my Rancid CDs and watching this new Family Guy DVD. I can’t believe they’re putting TV shows on DVD! There are so many things I wanted to do before I graduated high school…” and thus was born my high school bucket list…

Here are a few things that I wish I had done before I graduated high school…


10. Be a part of a prank


For me it was the rare year that cicadas were a thing, (if you don't know what a cicada is – click the link, they’re gross) so our school had a lot of insect related pranks. But I was never a part of anything huge. If I could do it all over again, I would have gone out with something BIG!


9. Walk up to someone at a party and kiss them


Okay so some of us were raised on Colin Hanks movies that ended up with him kissing the pretty best friend who was there all along. Be that guy, at least once, and make it count. Cause after high school girls start pressing charges for things like that and it can get ugly.


8. Throw the party when your parents are away


Everyone fantasizes about doing this but only the few and the brave… or those who honestly just don't give a crap, actually go through with it. This may sound like fun but it's even more fun to be one of the other kids at the party… let someone else get their asses chewed out by their parents while you have all the fun and sneak out the back door with the pretty girl when the cops show up.


7. Make a scene with a musical instrument


It’s a surefire way to get the girl or save the party. Grab your accordion and annex a pep rally and she’s sure to get with you in the end. And if you can’t play an instrument or sing, Just hop on a float and fake it like Ferris Bueller did.


6. Visit a College


Okay this one is for realsies. Most of high school can seem like a never-ending nightmarish experience. But if you take the weekend to go visit a college, maybe even hit up a party or two, you’ll see that there is a whole, magical world out there after you graduate. And the best part is, that a-hole who calls you gaybo in gym class doesn’t get in.


5. Get a Summer Job


Some of the best memories you’ll have as an adult revolve around your first summer job. It’s your first experience as part of a microcosmic adulthood and you’ll hate every minute of it. But years later it will inspire your first screenplay and you’ll be able to look back on it fondly.


4. Go to Europe


Hey, you know who’s legal to drink there? You! The Euro-trip is a magical moment in high school and totally worth the four million car washes and bake sales it takes you to get there. Just be weary of the one friend who continues to say “cheers” and “pub” when you get back. Cause he’ll never grow out of it.


3. Fail something


Anything, a quiz, an audition, your driving test, just fail something. There’s nothing more damaging for a pitcher at the start of a new game than coming off of a perfect one. You’ll feel human and that’s important when you’re 17.


2. Watch The Breakfast Club


Seriously you guys. Watch it before you are too old and start contemplating the act structure rather than appreciating the nuance. This movie is Amurrcan high school in a 1980s nutshell. It never feels dated and will remind you that gingers CAN be hot.


1. Say Goodbye


I don’t mean this in a “you’re about to die!” way, nor do I want this to come off as sappy. But the fact of the matter is most of your relationships will devolve into facebook status updates and run-ins at the hometown bar around Christmas time. So don’t be the kid who skips prom cause it’s “so trendy” or doesn’t buy a yearbook cause it’s gaybo. Go through the motions and enjoy graduation, cause you’re about to join the worst job market in 50 years! Congrats class of 2011!

What would be on your high school bucket list?

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