How Disney Princesses Would Be Different if They Were Sea Animals!
The Disney princesses have life so easy – they're born into riches and are so beautiful that men will fight sorcerers and monsters to win your hand in marriage. But what if they hadn't won that lottery at their birth? What if they had been born as sea animals instead? Let's find out!
Since sharks don't sleep, if Sleeping Beauty became a shark, she wouldn't be able to do the thing she loves most. This would certainly drive her insane, and Sleeping Beauty as a shark would start aggressively attacking people but not get any real press coverage until she attacked a little white girl off the coast of Florida. So it goes.
If Merida was a green turtle, she'd be put into a protective habitat because green turtles are endangered. Of course, she would try to escape, to change her destiny, but there are no witches with the power to change EPA regulations.
If Snow White was a harp seal she would have been clubbed to death and had her pelt sold to make boots while she was a baby. So we'd never know what she would be like!
If Pocahontas were a krill, she would be eaten by a salmon or blue whale.
If Belle were a manatee, she would float a lot. Mainly, you know, do a lot of floating. Just… float. There's not a lot to do when you're a manatee – they're basically your grandma after she retired.
If Jasmine were a whale, odds are she would beach herself and die in the sun.
If Ariel had been literally any kind of sea animal other than a mermaid, the story of her falling in love with a man from the surface would have happened the exact same way but been a lot less palatable.
Which Disney princesses do you think would make the best sea animal? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!