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How to Entertain Yourself at a Lame Party

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Only some parties can be cool parties. If every party was a cool party, they wouldn’t be cool anymore, would they? That means the odds suggest you’re bound to end up at a lame party at least once in your life. You know what I’m talking about — the kind of party where the least popular kid in school wants to celebrate his hamster’s birthday and doesn’t bother to provide snacks. But don’t worry, any lame party can be turned into an insane rager. Just follow these tips!

Have a positive attitude

Sure, the host’s weird German cousin is playing the accordion, but it’s not that bad! Things can pick up! Maybe your crush will show up at this party? And also maybe your crush will have a rare tropical infection that will make it so everyone will have to evacuate and the house will have to be quarantined. Nothing says “fun” like a CDC-mandated evacuation!

Try to make friends

Strike up a conversation with the host’s younger brother who’s sitting in the corner just staring at everyone. You can make friends at any party! But also make enemies. Pick someone in the room to become your fierce rival. A party isn’t fun if there isn’t any intrigue.

Do something with your hands

Standing around with nothing to do with your hands can be pretty awkward. Do something with them! Grab a drink – even if all there is to drink is tepid tap water. Or better yet, do shadow puppets! Make baseball hand signals! There are no wrong answers, as long as the answer involves you doing something with your hands.

Switch the music

You can turn any party into a dance party as long as there’s music. Even a poetry reading party can turn into a dance party. Why not start a dance party by inviting over your friend and/or cousin Justin Timberlake? Let Justin Timberlake work his magic! This party is now a party! Don’t have access to Justin Timberlake? Try calling Pitbull instead!

Try to get to work!

Roll up your sleeves and make yourself the official unofficial DJ or waiter or bathroom attendant. Be polite to the guests. They’re here to have fun. You’re here to get the job done and to make sure your client is satisfied. Remember, you work for tips!

Go to a different party

Leave. Go. Get out of there. Scram. And most importantly, never look back.

Do you hate lame parties? Let us know on Twitter!

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