Funny Articles

The Internet Exiles Rapper Pitbull to Alaska!

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A few weeks ago, Miami rapper Pitbull announced he was going to visit whichever Wal-Mart in the nation received the most Facebook Likes. The visit would be co-sponsored by Wal-Mart themselves and Sheets™ brand Energy Sheets, which are apparently a real thing that exists in our world. The campaign caught the attention of Something Awful writer David Thorpe, who thought it was funny that Pitbull had to "act enthusiastic about being sent to a random Walmart."

pitbull walmart energy sheets
In fairness, his love for Sheets™ brand Energy Sheets feels pretty sincere.

So Thorpe figured, if he's going to go to a random Wal-Mart, why not send him to an interesting one? Using the Twitter hashtag #exhilepitbull, Thorpe got the Internet to pump their Likes into the Facebook page of the Kodiak, Alaska Wal-Mart – a Wal-Mart whose town has a population of 6,100 and, as Redditor Bastion72 described it, is "about half the size and sells all sorts of strange stuff. Bear repellant, snow shoes, hunting gear etc."

old cold walmart
But I think they have a Subway. So.

And today we found out – it worked. Pitbull put out a video saying that since it got the most Likes, he's on his way to Kodiak.

It's funny to hear him talk about Kodiak like it's a real town brimming with Pitbull fans. Man, they're in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. Things are a lot different up there.

dog and fish
Pictured: Kodiak's mayor has a stern discussion with the town comptroller.

The weirdest part about the video is that Pitbull understands that it's an internet prank that got Kodiak the most Likes, but he's going anyway. I don't know what he thinks he's going to get out of the visit. Does he think all these ironic, emotionally detached internet kids are going to fly up and see him in Alaska because he stuck to his promise? I guess it's admirable to see Pitbull seeing this through to the bitter end, but boy is it going to look bad for him when he plays a show in a Kodiak, Alaska Wal-Mart.

pitbull performance
It'll basically be this minus fans and the keyboard player's enthusiasm.

Is Pitbull making the right call to honor this stupid, stupid agreement to head to Alaska? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!


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