iPhone Apps They Need To Make ASAP
It seems they have an app for everything! You wanna fake drink a beer? There’s an app for that! Do you want your phone to sound like a light saber when you wave it around? There’s an app for that too! I have no idea how tech science (or is it magic?) works, but I’m pretty sure if some genius can create virtual pimples for us to pop, they can also make these app dreams come true!
‘Emergency’ Phone Call
Does your blind date have a colostomy bag? Are you getting bored sitting with your best friend as she recovers from a leg amputation? You wanna bail but you don’t wanna look like a ‘bad person.’ Wouldn’t it be great to get a fake call from your mom saying she was stuck in a sinkhole and you better come quick? Hey, you’re still an a-hole, but thanks to this app, you won’t look like one!
Video Chat Makeover
You can spend all day making sure you get the hottest profile pic possible…Photoshop out your pock marks, strategically pose all those bulges and chins, push out your sexy duck lips…but all that hard work is blown the minute you get on live chat! Someone needs to come up with the app equivalent of Photoshop in real time! Unfortunately in person you’ll still look like a ‘faces of meth’ model.
Facebook Spy App
Do you have a feeling the guy you’re crushing on at work hid you? Are wall-to-walls leading you to believe people are having fun without you? Have you ever thought of screen-capping your friend-list to keep track of who dumps you? This app will answer all those Facebook mysteries that drive you bonkers. It won’t make you feel better, but at least you’ll know once and for all that you aren’t paranoid—you’re annoying and hated.
Word Game Cheat Detector
Are you suspicious that your mental midget cousin couldn’t possibly have come up with zygote in the game of ‘words with friends’ you two are playing? This app would let you know any time one of your opponents is using an online word generator to get an advantage. It will also forever brand their gaming avatar with a red Q, the scarlet letter amongst word nerds.
Bad Driver Take Down
This app would bring instant shame and mockery to dingbats who drive with their knees while texting and eating a cheesy gordita. Just insert their license plate and BAM! It instantly imports their info and loads photos of their stupidity to all of their social networking accounts! Personally, I would go after the d-bag who blast thumping bass house music and drives his ’92 Honda Accord stick shift like it’s a Ferrari.
Wouldn’t it be great if you never had to run into your ex and his hot new piece? Or how about avoiding the guy from work who always logs on to pervybiker.com before he takes a really long bathroom break? This is an app for people who don’t wanna know where their ‘friends’ are cause they’re interested in joining them, they wanna know where they are because they’re interested in avoiding them.
Celebrity Trash Filter
You can filter out porn… why not Ke$ha bikini photos, anything about celebrity baby bumps or an article titled ‘The Kardashians Explain Their Appeal’? Seeing these things actually bums me out. And that has never happened when I accidentally stumble upon porn.
Gleek Someone’s Playlist
Is this so different than the magical voodoo of the Shazam app? This would be a great prank to play on that holier-than-thou music snob who’s always pissing you off. Radiohead isn’t so cool anymore when this guy is singing it!
What are some of your dream apps? Let us know in the comments!