iPhone Users Prefer Their Phones To Sex?
Gadget trading website Gazelle recently polled their iPhone customers and found some startling results— 15 percent of iPhone users say they would say no to sex before they would say no to their phone. And that makes sense. It seems like girlfriends are always tryin' to get up on you when you're in the middle of a great run in Land-a Panda.
She must be jealous of Land-a Panda.
But wait, this survey wasn't about inertia. Those 15 percent still chose the iPhone given the choice between going without their phone and going without sex for an entire weekend. So, okay, our priorities might be a little mixed up. The most primal, human need should probably come before browsing the productivity section in the App Store. But maybe those are the fifteen percent so devoted to Apple that thye're not having sex anyways. You'd be surprised how few girls at clubs are interested in how Steve Jobs' NEXT platform ended up becoming the basis for OS X.
"I'd love to go back to your place if we can continue discussing what the lack
of ethernet ports means for the future of the Macbook Pro line."
The study also revealed some interesting tidbits on how the iPhone is used— over 25 percent "almost always" use their iPhones at parties or social gatherings, while 85 percent say they use their phones in the bathroom. So, good on you, iPhone users. You're setting the bar pretty low.
I must say, as an avid Apple fan, I'm disappointed in my fellow iPhone users. You can't replace sex with an iPhone! I mean, I get why they would think that, what with that cold, teasing voice of Siri, the sleek form factor, the way it responds to your… every… touch… but no! This type of forbidden love always end in disaster! Haven't these 15 percenters ever even seen a romantic comedy? The hero always realizes that his fling with the technology device was just that, a fling, and the human girl he really loves has been right in front of him, all along.
Romantic comedies are getting so formulaic.
What socially unacceptable way do you use your iPhone? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!