Funny Articles

Japan’s Latest Pop Star Exposed As FAKE HUMAN BEING

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Aimi Eguchi is the newest member of Japanese pop act AKB 48. Or, in another sense, she's been there all along. Because she is actually a computerized Frankenstein's monster built from the sexiest six body parts of the other members of the band.



Fans of the band were told that she was an actual real 16 year old extraordinarily hot girl from Saitima Prefecture who liked track and field. Which is a very hot sport for a hot girl to like. Perhaps warning signals should have went off when Aimi blogged that her goal was to, "… become a new idol like never before by taking the best parts of my AKB big sisters." Which is sounds way more like an alien who gets its powers by leaping onto people's faces and sucking their souls out through their mouths than a 16 year old girl.



So Japan is now capable of creating photo realistic human beings in video form, surely that won't lead to a dystopian nightmare where powerful governments trick us into thinking we're electing new leaders when we're really electing hot photo-projections of fake human beings who are actually saying things that creepy old rich men want them to say.



Aimi became a fan favorite (since she was engineered by scientists and marketing executives to become a fan favorite) and appeared in the candy commercial below. Which is like the triple cheeseburger of lies, since not only is the commercial attaching sexuality to candy, and the person on the commercial is lying about how much they like the candy, but the person themselves does not exist.


Imagine how you would feel if you found out tomorrow Justin Bieber didn't exist? That he was actually created on a computer by 50 year old men by combining Taylor Lautner's mouth with an 8 year old lesbian girl's forehead? How cheated would you feel?



Nothing about this is stranger than watching this video that shows how Aimi was created. Watch in horror as they take a girl's face then steal other girl's face parts and replace her face parts with them. MMMM I can't wait to eat the candy that that hot computer ghost with body parts stolen from other human beings likes to eat!



What do you think about fake humans singing and advertising? Let us know in the comments!

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