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Jersey Shore Is In Miami

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Upon realizing the magnitude of Jersey Shore’s popularity, MTV scrambled to get another season shot.



Problem was, the actual Jersey Shore itself is a little less sexy in the middle of winter. So they sent them down to the only city that would have them, Miami.



The kids holed up in a fancier MTV sponsored Miami abode; drinking, fighting, and having sex for the cameras. Angelina the self proclaimed “Kim Kardashian of Staten Island,” who left on day 1 the first season, is back with her trash bags of valuables.



Vinny manages to sleep with not just Snooki, but also Angelina. Snooki gets drunk and breaks stuff.



Ronnie and Sammie get back together and then break up again.



J Woww gets the hots for Ronnie. People start to hate Sammie. The boys get in fights. The girls get in fights. The Situation and Pauly D get tons of unattractive ladies that they now are referring to as “grenades.” And everyone gets their gym, tanning, and laundry on.



It’s all very “firecrackers in a dumpster.” You know you can’t wait. It all starts July 29th.



Snooki says to set your DVR.


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