Justin Bieber Ends Interview After Joke About His Mom
If you're anything like me, you often snap awake in the middle of the night wondering arbitrary things about Justin Bieber. Has he ever been horseback riding? Can he tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi in a blind taste test? Does he understand the difference between the popular vote and the electoral college?
"Wait, y'all mean you can get the most votes and still not be President? That sh*t cray."
But one of my biggest questions about Justin Bieber – Can he take a compliment? – was answered recently when, on an AM radio program, Beiber was told that his song "Boyfriend" reminded the morning DJ of Justin Timberlake – one of the most successful and influential pop artists of the last two decades. Bieber replied "That's crazy because our voices sound nothing alike" and was pissy for the rest of the interview. He even went on to tell the DJ "saying I sound like somebody else is definitely not a compliment". This shows such a lack of self-awareness. Justin Timberlake and Justin Bieber are both white guys singing pop songs. There's ultimately only so much variety you can get there.
"Saying I taste like Fruit Loops is definitely not a compliment."
But the interview got worse. Bieber was later asked about his pal Harry Styles of One Direction. Since Styles seems to have a thing for older women, does Bieber worry about him around his mother? Already pissed, Bieber shot back "I think you should worry about me around your mom, bro." The Morning DJ responded with "Justin, my mom's dead so unfortunately I don't think that will work." And that's when Bieber hung up the phone.
It's weird, because it's not like Bieber was being insulted. If anything, the morning DJ was. Maybe that specific, uncreative, bland comeback reminded Bieber that he was giving an interview to a goddamn morning DJ and those are literally the lowest class of people in the world. The boring sexual humor – "Hey, take a look at those BIG 'OLE BOOOOBS!" Boin-oi-oi-oi-oing! And those promos for the station themselves, with the deep voice intercut with dated pop culture references – "TR-TR-TR-TR-TRUE VARIETY. (Say What?!) Goo Goo Dolls from the late 90's and Goo Goo Dolls from the early 2000's! (Ohhh BEHAVE!) ALL on 92.7 KTRW!"
"Hey Katy Perry what if you got turned into a BADGER?" *Sound effect of badger, explosion*
Here's what Justin Bieber doesn't realize – when you use an insult like "watch your mom around me, bro", you've got to be ready to back it up. That means that even when your opponent tells you his mom is dead, you don't turn your tail and run. You keep going. I learned two things and two things only from high school football – 1) Go Wolverines, and 2) when you decide to go aggressive, you gotta stay aggressive.
If that DJ says his mom is dead, Justin should say "Exactly" and just eat a pork chop on air.
You can listen to the interview here, if that's your thing.
Do you think Bieber should have hung up? Or do morning DJs deserve all the humiliation they get? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
Check out Things Justin Bieber Owns That You Can't Afford!