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Let’s-A Go… to the Theater?! A ‘Super Mario Bros.’ Movie Is Coming

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Way back in 1993, a Super Mario Bros. movie was released starring Bob Hoskins (but originally Tom Hanks?) as the bouncy, mustachioed plumber who would save the Mushroom Kingdom. That movie was bad.

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“Like a knife in the brain,” say critics.

But today, it was announced that, after 24 years, Nintendo is ready to get back on the movie horse (the best movie horse is War Horse) and try again. According to the Wall Street Journal, Illumination Entertainment and Universal have picked up the rights to a Super Mario Bros. movie.

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This movie contains comic mischief and hijinks and will be RATED R.

You might remember Illumination as the guys who made Despicable Me and therefore the Minions. And the idea that someone who made such weird, short, crass creatures could get ahold of Mario is– well– hold on.

Okay, Mario? What’s goin’ on pal? This some kinda new sex thing for you?

Now listen, of course video game movies are bad — there’s no way around that. But Super Mario Odyssey was just released and is maybe the most concentrated jolt of pure joy ever released to retail. So since Mario games are so, so good, could a Super Mario Bros. movie be the best of the bad video game movies?

<p.Well, no. The answer is no. Mario doesn't have a story. The best of the bad video game movies will be the Metal Gear Solid movie, and we've known that for decades.

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This is a story that can only be told through the power… of cinema.

What could possibly happen in a Mario movie? Like, he runs after and saves the Princess? There’d be, like, an hour and 10 minutes left. Let us know on Twitter @Smosh!