How to Lie About Your Taste in Music For Dating Purposes
Have you ever been talking to someone you like, and all of a sudden they bring up music? Uh oh, how do you keep this cool attractive person talking to you when your idea of a masterpiece is Randy Newman’s “You’ve Got a Friend In Me” from the Toy Story soundtrack? Relax, I got you. Follow these tips and you’ll be just fine. (Also, Randy Newman is great but he will never be cool.)
Tell them your taste is eclectic
“So what do you listen to?” they may ask. Don’t panic. Instead of being specific, say that your taste is eclectic. Then you can drop a couple random references to stuff you know, but don’t have to get specific. Remember not to mention Randy Newman’s “You Got a Friend In Me”. Okay, good.
Ask them their favorite kind of music
You already know they’re into music. so before they probe you, go on the offense and ask what they’re into. Then nod vaguely like you know what they’re talking about. Do not quote “You’ve Got A Friend In Me”. Remember, it’s not cool and most of the lyrics to that song are “you’ve got a friend in me” anyways.
Say you listen to classical music
If you have no modern references to music, you can always say that you just like classical music a la Beethoven and Brahms. Nine times out of 10 they’ll say they also like classical but not get specific. Zero times out of 10 will they say that Randy Newman is the only classical musician and that his incessant babbling is soothing.
Make up a band name
If you’re really in a bind, you can always make up a band name. If they say they know the made-up band, then you’re allowed to make up all the music BS you want. Good fake band names would be Lemon Line or Table Bottom. Bad fake band names would be Randy and the Newmans or New Randyman or I Love Randy Newman And His Contributions to the Toy Story Original Soundtrack. Have I made myself clear?
Honestly admit you don’t have great taste
If worst comes to worse, I guess you can always be straight with them. Tell them you have a lot of opinions about politics and TV shows, but when it comes to music, you’re out of the loop. Plus. you can always ask them to make you a playlist — everybody loves sharing their taste in things. Don’t by any means say that you want at least five Randy Newman tracks on that playlist. You got that? I’m being serious here, okay? Don’t you dare do that. I see that look in your eye.
I hope this was informative and you won’t let your insane love for Randy Newman alienate this awesome potential partner. Although I admit I do like I Love L.A.. If you have any music tips or favorite Newman songs, let me know on Twitter @bjrainstein!