The 11 Most Embarrassing Attempts to Court the Millennial Vote
This is a big election year for the United States. It can be pretty difficult for a political party to retain the presidency after they’ve had it for two consecutive terms, but the flip side is that the only GOP candidate that is actually mustering up enthusiasm is also being accused of destroying the party with his campaign strategy. Barack Obama notoriously rode the youth vote to a surprise victory in 2008, so we’re seeing a lot of effort from the current crop of candidates from both parties to do the same. But Millennials are a fickle bunch; they won’t just be wooed by Pokémon or whatever. And honestly, the attempts to seem cool to the youth of today by a bunch of people in their sixties are coming off as… a little embarrassing. Observe!
Hillary Clinton Wants To Converse In Emojis
How does your student loan debt make you feel?
Tell us in 3 emojis or less.
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) August 12, 2015
Student loan debt is an already serious issue that gets worse every year. So maybe give young people enough credit to ask them to express their thoughts on it in WORDS? Why not just hold up a piece of paper and say “Show me on the bank statement where the student loan debt hurt you?”
Ben Carson Runs “Rap” Ad
This ad that Carson’s campaign PAID TO RUN is by rapper Aspiring Mogul, who I can’t imagine is ever going to lose that “aspiring” tag. But this is an important reminder that people forget all too often — rapping is hard. It is not just talking over music. Don’t rap if you can’t rap.
Ted Cruz Makes Bacon On A Gun Barrel
Thank god, someone’s combined the internet’s nightmarishly dull obsession with “BACON!” as a punchline with America’s terrifying obsession with treating guns like they’re “cool” instead of “very, very serious in nature”.
Bobby Jindal Does Pushups With Buzzfeed(?!?!)
Are pushups even cool or funny? Who thought this would appeal to anyone? It’s such a ’90s idea, like “Yeah, I’m strong and tough so people should vote for me!” That’s how Schwarzenegger became governor of California, and we learned our lesson. Also, Jindal is a little tiny thing. We all know he was sore for like three weeks after this.
Rand Paul Makes Crappy Photo App
I’m sure no one would ever misuse an app where you can take a photo with the candidate, because the internet is sincere and… uh…
Check out this picture of me with Rand pic.twitter.com/NdqE1cuwFu
— Fall(in) Style (@samdavisboyhero) September 2, 2015
— Michael Magnesia (@mattyeightfour) September 2, 2015
— Internet Subscriber (@chrispgriffin) September 2, 2015
Rand Paul’s new app lets you take a picture with him!
What could go wrong? pic.twitter.com/jvAmcVdQbJ
— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) September 2, 2015
Hillary Clinton Dabbing
We are in Hell.
Marco Rubio’s “Bae” Shirt
Nope, NOW we are in hell.
Martin O’Malley Promotes Uber Bringing You A Kitten Stunt
— Martin O’Malley (@MartinOMalley) October 29, 2015
“It’s a hot app! It’s kittens! This will surely propel me to the top of the presidential polls!” Bud, you are running for president, not trying to drum up hits for your Tumblr.
Bernie Sanders Dances On Ellen
Not only is this super embarrassing, but Bernie Sanders is in his seventies and spends all day sitting. What’s next, is he gonna shovel his own driveway?!
A Bunch Of Them Using Snapchat
Hillary Clinton’s snap is the most embarrassing of them all, but any candidate being on Snapchat is ridiculous; it’s mostly for nudes! Why are we pretending like that’s not the case?! The only reason I should be friends with Rand Paul on Snapchat is if I’m trying to get a piece of Rand Paul!
JebBush.com Takes You To Trump’s Website
It’s been made clear to me a number of times that I’m not to get political in what I write here, so I’ll refrain from extrapolating on the depths of which I loathe Donald Trump. That said, he does deserve credit for his expertise in one thing the youths of today love: Trolling! Getting your (at the time) main rival’s URL and having it redirect to your website is about the most amazing piece of trolling that I’ve ever seen.
How much more dignity does the office of the president deserve in your opinion? Let us know in the comments!