The Most Popular Jobs in the Movies!
They say there are jobs out there, even in a struggling economy. You just need to know where to look. And so it is with employment opportunities in movies, where these six positions are always open for new candidates. This is either a sign that Hollywood is absolutely devoid of new ideas, or these specific jobs routinely end in death.
Job Qualifications: Applicant must have unique abilities that can easily translate into costume/cowl/brand name/ at least three big-budget adventures. Must understand they will spend their entire career fighting gods, aliens, or unmedicated psychopaths who like to run around in unitards just like you.
Mismatched Police Partner
Job Qualifications: Applicant must fall into one of two police character archetypes: “Stickler for the rules” or “Wild card who would be in jail if this were real life”. Must engage in loud, witty and unconsciously flirty banter with partner during high-speed chases. Must form friendship with mis-matched partner just when it seems like you’re both going to die, only to walk away after blowing up half the city.
Job Qualifications: Applicant must somehow believe they have a healthy, loving relationship with their family despite lying to them for years. Must get involved in a mission that reveals their identity and drags the family into geopolitical chaos. Must be comfortable with complete silence around the dinner table until their four-year-old says “Daddy, why did you make me blow up the Kremlin?”
Best Friend/Coworker of Romantic Lead
Job Qualifications: Although this position could occur in almost any industry, openings are almost exclusive to publishing firms and quirky, floundering businesses owned by the romantic lead. The applicant must focus so intensely on the romantic lead’s love life that their only shot is with the equally hapless best friend of their best friend’s romantic interest. Applicant must also be comfortable with no ever giving even the slightest crap about whether or not they die alone.
Job Qualifications: The applicant must start off with the best of intentions to help mankind and then let a single setback cause them to do a professional and personal 180 and exclaim “F*** mankind!”. They must also create an evil alter-ago just in case a new job opens up in the scientific community. Finally, the applicant must be comfortable with a short career ending with the coroner listing their cause of death as “Last-minute noble sacrifice”.
Job Qualifications: The applicant must be quiet about details concerning their own secret mission that could put the lives of their human team members in jeopardy. They must also be quiet about fact that they are an android, and only allow the truth to come out in a moment that will be either “ill-timed” or “extremely awkward”, depending on whether or not it involves sex.
Which one was your favorite? Let me know in the comments!