No One Tells Mary Kate and Ashley What to Do
In honor of the 21st anniversary of “Baby Love,” the epic Episode 38 of Full House that detailed three-year old Michelle Tanner’s (portrayed by Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen) love life, I bring you this collection of
cringeworthy humorous and otherwise forgotten Olsen Twin jams!
Let’s start off with the Olsen twins’ classic “No One Tells the President What to Do” with a fake Bill Clinton with a sax, pre-sex scandal and all. It’s a frightening tale of how the president can do whatever he wants.
Well, according to the Olsens, at least.
“We Need a Vacation” discusses the stress of late elementary school and early middle school and logically why young children need a spring break in Cancun of sorts.
“It’s Not Logical” is one of the deeper Olsen songs. It explores things that can’t be understood with logic/basic science like their feet staying on the ground and their mom getting mad when they tell her hair looks bad, when it actually does.
“Mom’s Song” is to Mother’s Day as “No One Tells the President What To Do” is to President’s Day. It lists some vague things that make mothers great like the fact they take kids to playgrounds.
“Our Doggy Ate Our Homework” defends dogs eating homework as a valid and real reason getting in the way of turning in one’s homework.
“Brother for Sale” encourages younger siblings to sell their older brothers for 50 cents or less depending on how irritating they are.
“I Am the Cute One” explores how twins aren’t actually the same person. The girls take turns reciting the hook “I am the cute one. She’s just my sister” to bring the point home.
So… what’s your favorite “classic” Olsen twins’ song?