Orders Sure To Mess With Starbucks Baristas
I'm willing to give voice to what everyone thinks but is too afraid to say aloud – Starbucks baristas have had it too good for too long. Making coffee is literally no harder than pulling a lever and wiping the drool from your chin. And I'm sick of them getting all these great perks, like green polos and sweet visors that they can wear sideways to the beach on the weekends. So I say we inject a little anarchy into their lives. Here are some coffee orders certain to mess with the minds of those elitist baristas.
"Double Decaf Latte, No Foam, Whipped Cream, Extra Foam"
And no matter what level of foam you end up with, you've won.
… and if you could just serve that in 17 child-size Dixie cups, that'd be great. I'm in a hurry."
"Can You Just Draw Some Sort Of An Anime In The Foam?"
"This isn't an anime guy! Where's his sword and giant sweat drop?!" You can shout as you pour the drink on the floor.
"Coffee. Black. Extra Cream."
Be prepared to act indignantly when they ask if you understand what "black coffee" means.
When the barista says "do you mean Venti?" you can exclaim, distressed, "My father was KILLED by a Venti! I swore to avenge him, but I was unable! Too weak! Too scared! Damn you Venti! DAMN YOU TO HELL!" Then run out of the store, crying.
"Mountain Dew, If I Could"
They don't serve Mountain Dew at Starbucks, but how were you supposed to know that before you walked in?! At this point, you're free to demand Starbucks reimburses you for your time wasted, probably in scones.
"Um, When I Ordered This Colbie Caillat CD…
".. I assumed you were going to mix it in with my coffee. Now I've got this coffee over here and this Colbie Caillat CD over there and I don't know what to do!"
What do you do to mess with these Starbucks jerks? Let us know in the comments!