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People I Wish Harry Potter Would Have Dated

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Even the “chosen one” needs a little help in the girl department from time to time. But, could you blame Harry? Dude is constantly called out of school to fight against the Dark Lord, defend his title as the “chosen one” all while teenage hormones are ravaging his insides. I don’t think I would fair too well against the opposite sex either, given the circumstances. That’s why I’ve compiled a list of people Harry should have dated during his time at Hogwarts. Now, if only he could discover a time travel potion to read this before his first year…


8. Katie Bell


Where girls had Oliver Wood to lust after, dudes had Katie Bell to wonder “What if?” Smart, athletic, quick on her feet. And being 1 year older, she could school him in the art of magical kissing. (Come on, don’t tell me you weren’t disappointed by the Potter-Weasley lip lock).


7. A Muggle


Come on Harry Potter! You mean to tell me you went home every summer and you never had a summer fling? You had abs by the time you were 15. I rest my case.


6. A Waitress At The Three Broomsticks


Remember when your bro started dating the chick whose parents owned the local Hamburger restaurant? You didn’t even really like those burgers, but they tasted amazing BECAUSE THEY WERE FREE. Now just imagine what a solid HP would be doing for the whole Gryffindor house if he got some sweet time in with a Three Broomsticks waitress. (I’ll give you a hint: it looks like an episode of Cheers).


5. Tonks


Yes, we all love Lupin. He’s a solid dude. The kind that would take you to the Wizard DMV on a Saturday morning. But how much would Harry up his bad-ass-ness by dating not only a wizard chick but THE ONLY PUNK ROCK WIZARD CHICK THERE IS (excluding Beatrix Lestrange, but in this analogy – she’s way more metal).


4. Moaning Myrtle


Yes, she is past this mortal realm but Myrtle definitely had the hots for Harry from the start. Seeking him out consistently, confiding in him with her deepest darkest secrets – that deserves at least a ghostly date on the Hogwarts roof. Throw a dead girl a bone, Harry! 


3. A Slytherin Chick


Let’s face it: Draco Malfoy would never see this coming, and the books/movies are really all about pissing off Malfoy, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought.


2. Fred Weasley


Listen. Any Weasley would have been a better choice than Cold-Fish-Ginny.


1. Hermione Granger


DUDES. Dudes. I know, dudes. I know! She belongs with Ron – I know this! But – how great was that one scene in (SPOILER ALERT) Deathly Hallows Part 1 when her and Harry were straight-up hanging for like what seemed like months. They had a moment, right? Tell me about it, Dudes.


What do you think? Are you sad Professor McGonagall was left off the list? If the answer is yes…what's wrong with you? Explain yourself in the comments!


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