Funny Articles

Pignappers on the Loose

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FLuffee’s weekly post!

Normally if you wanted to force someone to pay a ransom you would kidnap a human being and threaten those close to them. But some criminals decided to steal pigs–I don’t know if that’s the best choice for collateral.

Two pigs have been kidnapped in Cornwall, England, and are now being held for a ransom of £200, which is pretty reasonable since each pig costs £300 apiece. But seriously, pigs?

Humbug –pignapped!

I guess they wanted to do some kidnapping and make some money without really having to worry about the consequences. These kidnappers were taking a risk because I imagine it would be hard for someone to love a pig that’s so ugly.

They might have had an easier time if the pig looked more like Babe: Pig in the City, but unfortunately not all pigs can be so pretty and pink.

Isn’t he cute?

The two pigs, named Truffle and Humbug (perfect names for ugly pigs), were being kept in an enclosure at a pub, which can’t be good for business.

If the first thing you see when you go to a pub is a couple of guard pigs then I think it is safe to assume that it won’t be a very classy joint but, hey, I know the smell of dirty pigs always gets me in the mood for drinking.

If I was at this pub drinking I would be afraid of getting too drunk because I know the second I am the first thing going through my mind would be “Hell Yea, Lets Ride a Pig!” I wouldn’t be proud of myself if I did that, it’s just, it’s been a dream of mine to ride a pig.

Giddyup, Piggie!

I wonder if the police are going to take this kidnapping seriously or if they are going to brush it off like it’s no big deal? I can’t really see them putting out their best men for a couple of pigs.

I know who we need to get for this case: none other then Ace Ventura pet detective. He would solve the mystery! What has he been doing since he made those two documentary films about his pet detective job? Wait… those were true stories right?

Best man for the job?

Do you think there really are pet detectives? If not, then maybe I should start a freelance business, then I can solve the crime of the kidnapped pigs and save them from being made into bacon. MMMMM bacon.