Places I Have Been Found Passed Out
I don’t often drink beer, but when I do I drink way too much. (I am old enough. Kids, don't try this at home)
I stopped drinking years ago, and part of the impetus for stopping was the fact that after a hard night of drinking, I would wake up in mysterious locations. Take this as a cautionary tale about the dangers of too much booze.
On The Lawn
I am no stranger to many peoples front lawns, although I am partial to my own front lawn… the hybrid winter rye that I planted last year really paid off as it was comfortable.
I do feel bad for the Denny’s waitstaff that had to shoo me out of the bathroom at two in the morning but am always very generous tipper.
The Back Seat Of Cars
I wish I could say that I was doing more in the backseat than just passing out, but alas there has been many mornings when a friend of mine has gotten into his car to go to work only to find that I’m still passed out from the previous evening.
The Homecoming Float
It is sad to say that waking up shirtless and on the homecoming float is not the oddest place I have awoken… but it shows that I have team spirit!
My buddies thought it would be funny to drive me to our rival school’s football field and leave me there, and they were right. It was funny.
I have no idea how I managed to make this happen, but I awoke sitting on a swing in the park.
On A Couch In Walmart
I have no doubt that my buddies had a hand in this, as I have no memory of how it happened… but what I find odd is that as I slowly awoke I could see Walmart employees acknowledge my existence and then just moving on. They acted as if it was a common occurrence to see a drunken man passed out on one of their couches.
Like I said I don’t drink any longer, certainly not to excess and most definitely never to the point of passing out.