Funny Articles

‘Pokémon Go’ Already Losing Millions of Users, Succumbs to Ebb of Time as We All Must

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Sunrise, sunset. It feels like only yesterday that Pokémon Go was announced, and was soon making promises for the future. (In fact, it was only yesterday when team leaders were given a purpose.) And yet, it seems the alternate reality mobile game’s time on top of pop culture is on the wane. Bloomberg has published a report from Axiom Capital Management, which has been looking at the data. Its findings show that Pokémon Go peaked in total users in late July. Here’s a chart, even, so you know the downturn is legit:

pokemon go decline
Rage, rage against the declining of the users.< br />

And so… that’s it. While it’s still technically here, the good times of Pokémon Go dominating our culture are just, suddenly, over. But let’s not let this get us down. Pokémon Go was beautiful while it was existed. It burned bright, and then it faded away, which a faux hand-painted, inspirational sign hanging on the wall of my friend’s mom’s house suggests is the way to go.

pokemon wane pier one
Although, she also has this sign still hanging up in the room she caught her husband cheating in, so maybe they’re not as objectively truthful as Pier One wants us to think.< br />

What made us stop playing Pokémon Go? Was it the elimination of third-party Pokémon trackers, leaving us to wander around our neighborhoods aimlessly looking for Beedrills? Was it the inherent danger that came with playing the game? Or was it just the inevitable ebb and flow of time, taking things from us maybe before we knew we were done with them, but also propelling us forward, both tragically and joyfully, into new life experiences?

Whatever the reason, I hope we all try not to cry because it’s over, but to smile because it happened. I like to think that, even when something ends, the relationship continues, because it’s still inside of us. Pokémon Go changed us, and those changes will influence us for the rest of our lives. And we’ll always be able get frustrated with broken servers and endless, useless Pidgeys… in our hearts.


Follow Mikey on Twitter @mikeymccollor.