5 Scary Consequences of Not Getting Enough Sleep
We’ve all been told by science that getting seven to eight hours of sleep a night is ideal for most people, and yet millions of us still rebel, opting for only three or four hours per night. Whether you don’t sleep because of an actual issue (insomnia, sleep apnea, loud refrigerator), or you choose to spend most of your snooze time catching up on your favorite shows, here are seven consequences to not getting enough sleep that will hopefully scare you into getting a few more Zs!
You’ll have memory issues
While you sleep, your brain puts away all the new information of the day into neat little folders that you can easily access in the future. When you don’t get enough sleep, you aren’t giving your brain enough time to put everything away, and it starts to panic. That means that when you’re asked what the most common isotope of hydrogen is on your chemistry quiz, your brain will have no idea and you’ll end up writing “oxygen” as the answer — which is so wrong it’s embarrassing.
You’ll gain weight
When you sleep, your body takes all of the crap you ate throughout the day and breaks it down into either fat or poop. When you get a healthy amount of sleep, your body thanks you by pooping out all the crap to regulate your weight. But if you don’t get enough sleep, your body resents you and passive aggressively turns all that crap you ate into fat. This is why all insomniacs become diabetics who start fight clubs with invisible Brad Pitt.
You won’t “get” Stranger Things season 3
Stranger Things is America’s sweetheart, and everybody who watches it loves it and loves praising it (we are omitting season 2 episode 7 from that statement). A continual lack of sleep, however, can cause you to become a very, VERY cranky person who doesn’t “get” the value of nostalgia and coming of age stories. Your lack of sleep will inevitably turn you into the only person in America who dislikes Stranger Things, and questions the logic and cultural significance of a show like Stranger Things in 2018 come season 3. No one is going to like you or hang out with you as a result, and you’re going to become a sleepless hermit who David Harbour hates and blocks on Twitter.
The twin you ate in the womb will start growing out of your neck
Back when you were in the womb, you had a twin who never got to fully develop because you ate him before he was more than a tadpole. He lay dormant inside you, all these years, because a healthy amount of sleep keeps him at peace. A persistent lack of sleep, however, will essentially give your digested, forgotten twin the time and strength to rise again — you know, like Sauron in Lord of the Rings. He will start growing out of your neck, like a sentient, wiggly tumor, and you’ll have to wear thick scarves in order to hide him.
You will cease to exist altogether
When you don’t get enough sleep, you inevitably become friends with your town’s kooky old scientist, because he’s the only other person who stays awake at all hours of the night. As all kooky old scientists do, he’ll start using you as his guinea pig for his experiments, and during one, you’ll be sent back in time and your mother will fall in love with you. Unfortunately. your mom will reject your loser dad and you will immediately cease to exist altogether. This entire scenario will be the result of your brain having Fight Club-meets-Back to the Future insomnia-driven hallucinations, of course, but you won’t know that. You will be committed to an institution where a lack of sleep will be the least of your worries, because by this time that ingrown twin in your neck will have learned the words to “Despacito” and will vengefully sing it into your ear for the rest of your days.
So there ya have it — five super fresh reasons to get to sleepin’ at a reasonable hour! Of course, if you suspect you have insomnia consult a doctor… before it’s too late.
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