Funny Articles

I Think I Served Leonardo DiCaprio Ice Cream But I’m Not Sure

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I work at an ice cream shop in Hollywood and pride myself on lowkey spotting celeb customers but playing it sooooo kewl and not outwardly acknowledging the rapid pitter-patter of my fangirl heart. Recently, I’ve seen Jason Mraz, Sandra Oh, Malin Ackerman, and many more. Anywhoodle poodle, about a week ago, I saw a guy waiting in line with his friend and I couldn’t help but stare. Where had I seen this guy?! He didn’t seem like famous, he was just a regular dude that I had for sure seen before. Then it hit me — was this LEONARDO DICAPRIO? I am still on the fence because he really did look so normal, but let’s break down the evidence and draw a conclusion.

1. Leo just bought a house in the area

You betchurass I googled Leo news the second I went on break. All my trusted gossip sources said Leo had just purchased a home in that particular area of Hollywood, like, that day. WHAT IS THE MOST COMMON THING PEOPLE DO AFTER BUYING A $5 MILLION DOLLAR HOME? GET ICE CREAM.

2. He wore a hat

I then searched paparazzi photos of Leo and they all showed him dressed incognito in a hoodie or cap situation. THE MAYBE-PROBABLY-DEFINITELY-LEO WHO CAME IN WAS WEARING A HAT I REST MY CASE EXCEPT I HAVE TWO MORE BULLET POINTS.

3. His friend was a blonde woman

Leo has literally never been photographed with a non-blonde. That is science. He even made Kate Winslet go blonde so they could have this heartfelt moment at the Oscars and be photographed. 100 percent factually real folks. HIS COMPANION THAT NIGHT WAS BLONDE IT WAS LEO OMG.

4. He looked kinda schlubby

When the average American thinks “Leo”, they probably imagine him in a lux tux on the red carpet, his hair perfectly combed back, blue eyes all a-dazzle. No ‘ffense, but dude looked SCHLUBS. And F yeah, you go Leo! It’s your day off! You dress however you want. It sure threw me off the trail. EXCEPT THAT I AVIDLY SEARCH LEONARDO DICAPRIO PAPARAZZI PHOTOS IN MY FREE TIME AND I ALREADY KNEW THAT HIS STREET STYLE LEAVES MUCH TO BE DESIRED HENCE IT WAS FOR SURE LEONARDO DICAPRIO!

THERE. YOU. GO. Geez I should be a detective, or at least play one on TV. Law and Order, GET AT ME on Twitter @AndiHester!