10 Signs Your Parents Want You Out Of The House
Hanging around the house for an entire summer rules. Some people AKA your parents might think you’ve accomplished nothing all summer. Maybe they should check out your XBox achievements. You’ve actually been really busy. In a situation like this, parents might start dropping subtle hints to let you know that they want you gone. Here are signs your parents want you out of the house.
They make you share your room with people from Airbnb.
Airbnb is a great service and I’ve used it a bunch. However, I’m not the kind of weirdo who would want to share a room with a total stranger so I always opt for getting my own place. The kind of person who would want to share a room with a total stranger is probably going to do something awful while you sleep. Just keep telling yourself that those are old mayo stains on your stuffed animal collection.
You get surprised with a new room: The Attic.
The attic might no be so bad. Sure, it gets crazy hot during the summer, but you at least get to go through old boxes of random stuff. It’s like living in a time machine. You just have to watch out for raccoons that want grab on to you with their tiny hands and chew your face off while you sleep.
They got you a one way bus ticket to Detroit for your birthday.
You’ve never been to Detroit and for good reason. It’s one of the scariest places in the country. The plus side to being abandoned in Detroit is that you’ll probably get to meet Robocop. [Edtior note: Detroit ins’t all bad!]
All of your stuff gets sold at a yard sale.
You messed up. You left the house to go see a movie. That was all the time your parents needed to put on an impromptu yard sale. The lesson learned here is never ever leave the house.
You keep finding college applications around the house to far away colleges.
I didn’t even know people in Alaska could read much less run a college. Maybe it would actually be fun to go to college in Alaska. When your professor tells you that there’s a test tomorrow, you get almost 2,000 hours to study since the sun doesn’t set for long periods of time.
They’ve started to move exercise equipment in to your room.
Your parents have always wanted to turn your room in to their own private gym and they’re tired of waiting on you. Get ready to be woken up every morning at 6am when your dad does his morning jog on the treadmill in his underwear.
Pressure you to get a job despite the fact that you’re a world class Pokemon trainer.
How could you possibly work at a regular summer job at some dumb fast food restaurant? You’re the greatest Pokemon trainer in the world. Flipping burgers is so beneath you.
They get way too excited about you going on a week long camping trip to a spooky old cabin.
Everything about this camping trip sounds like a red flag. It’s a week long trip in the middle of nowhere surrounded by crazy hillbillies at a camp site called Murder Hollow. Your parents must be getting desperate to get rid of you.
You threaten to run away. They already have a suitcase packed.
Once you hit a certain age, it’s kind of hard to threaten to runaway. If you’re 18 and you make that kind of threat, your parents are probably going to just high five each other and then push you out the door as they pop a bottle of champagne.
They move without telling you.
It’s weird waking up to an empty house. Maybe if you didn’t sleep until 3pm every day, you would have noticed all of the moving noises happening all morning. Even though they sold the house, you should try to stay there as long as you can by claiming squatters right. Whoever stays in the house the longest wins!
Who needs a house when you got a sweet RV to drive around? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!