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The Six Worst Pets For Apartment Living

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Everybody wants a pet of some sort but living in an apartment can limit our choices. Some pets seem like great ideas at the pet store but when you get them home you realize you have made a mistake.

Most pet stores do not allow returns so you really need to think through your picks before you buy.

In order to help you make your choice, we have created a list of some popular pets that you shouldn’t bring home, if home is an apartment.


People are attracted to Wolverines for their cute and cuddly appearance but don’t be fooled. Known as Skunk Bears (which right off the bat sounds bad), they have powerful jaws and scent glands used for marking territory and attracting mates. A small apartment will smell pretty bad if your pet wolverine is looking for some action. Wolverines are also known to kill animals as large as a moose for prey, so your neighbor’s cat will likely disappear shortly after your purchase.


Who doesn’t want a Moose? The problem is they are way to big for an apartment (you need at least a small house for a pet moose) and their antlers can almost never fit through the elevator doors. Also, Wolverines like to eat Moose so every Wolverine in the neighborhood will be checking out your place for dinner.


Baboons are best kept as pets if you live in at least a two bedroom house since they like their own sleeping quarters. They are also really loud and your neighbors will hate you if you have a couple of these around the apartment. If you live in a building with children, Baboons could also pose a threat since they may want to become a mate or foster parent to Billy down the hall. Once a Baboon takes a child as it’s own you will have a hell of a time getting it back.


So, you’re in the pet store and you think “How cool would it be to have a Tapir?” Not cool at all! At first everyone is into there prehensile proboscuis but then your neighbors realize that your Tapir has grown to 700 lbs and has taken over the pool 24/7 for Tapir swimming. Ultimately, you and your Tapir will be evicted. And good luck finding a new apartment with a 1/3 ton Tapir in tow!


We know they are called “Laughing” Hyenas but that is not a laugh. It is a screech or bark which will make you personna non grata in the community room. Hyenas also love to scavenge and kill stuff. They will get into the garbage and make life unpleasant for everyone. Especially you, when your pet turns on you and tries to have you for lunch!


You will be told that a Dwarf is a great idea for a pet. They will vacuum and dust and keep your place looking great. For about a week. Then their true nature will kick in and they will start drinking, harassing chicks and dudes in the elevator, and they will probably hang out by the pool naked — which some may find offensive. Do yourself a favor: don’t bring a dwarf home to your apartment.

If you live in an apartment, stick with cats! You will be much happier and far more popular with the other residents of your building.

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