Funny Articles

Sleeping on the Job

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Breaking into a store is apparently the easy part — it’s getting away that criminals seem to have a problem with.

Recently four Miami men thought it would be a good idea to break into a lawn and garden store. The men were seen on surveillance cameras pulling up in a van with two different colored wheels, because, as everyone knows, it’s best to stand out while breaking and entering.

The four gentlemen in question.

The four criminals were then captured on camera breaking into the store and stealing various items that added up to about $10,000. I don’t know if anyone else is putting this together but it seems like all these guys are trying to do is start up their landscaping business. They have the van, now all they need are garden supplies.

Among the stolen items were twenty-two chainsaws — yes, twenty-two chainsaws. I can’t think of any reason to steal twenty-two chainsaws, unless maybe there’s a black market for chainsaw trafficking that I don’t know about. Or maybe these guys were going to try an extremely dangerous juggling act. Actually, I’d like to see how that turns out.

Possible outcome.

The truth is, no matter what these guys were planning on doing with these stolen items, none of them will get a chance, since they were caught shortly after the robbery. The men were arrested after they ditched their van and switched to a Jaguar. You’re thinking high speed chase right?

This car goes fast — if you actually drive it.

Well think more like high speed morons, if that makes sense. They did switch to a Jaguar but they didn’t go very far, because they were found parked in the Jaguar beside the van–and all the men were asleep.

This Jaguar looks like he could use a nap, too.

Now I’m not saying that they didn’t earn a nap, because robbing a garden store must be really hard work, but if you’re going to take a nap at least take the time to park across the parking lot away from the van you just used in a robbery.

I’m no robbery science major but this has got to be Day One stuff.

“Bubba” sounds like a neat guy to spend 2-5 years in a 10×6 cell with.

These four guys had a good plan and probably would have gotten away with it to — if it just didn’t get so far past their bed time.