The 6 Stages of Going to a Party as an Introvert
If you’re an introvert and you’re going to a party, it’s usually because a) you said you’d go at a much earlier date, b) you were pressured into going by your friends, or c) you’re forcing yourself to go for a little bit. Basically, you’re never gonna be super pumped about it. #TRUTH. Parties are usually not fun if your favorite thing in the world is being by yourself! But if you are an introvert and you end up at a fiesta, here are the stages you’ll go through:
STAGE 1 – Be guilt-tripped into going to a party
You would be perfectly fine cuddled up all evening with a good show, your laptop, and some Nutella, but your friend just cannot comprehend that. PLUS, they don’t want to go to the party alone (so they’re being a little bit selfish). They’ll come up with every coercion tactic in the book to make you go. Those extroverts can be persistent!
STAGE 2 – Reluctantly agree to go
You start feeling like you “should” go to the party. After all, isn’t that what kids your age are “supposed” to do on their nights off? You don’t want to be a loser, so you muster up all the energy you have to brave the social scene. Put on your best dress, Maude, you’re going out!
STAGE 3 – Awkwardly stand next to the Drinks/Food/Decorations
Like a ship lost in a sea of awkwardness, you need an anchor (yes I’m using nautical metaphors — deal with it). You anchor is going to be food or drinks or anything that can make you look like you belong and have a purpose. “I don’t know what to say, so I’ll just stuff food into this hole in my mouth.” REAL SMOOTH.
STAGE 4 – Escape to the bathroom
Where is the one place that no one else will be? THE BATHROOM. This cavern of solitude will be a brief respite from the pressures of socializing. Just don’t hide in there too long, or people will think you’re pooping.
STAGE 5 – You make up an excuse to go home
Unless there is a miracle from above, you’re gonna want to leave earlier than everyone else. As my Uncle Ron always says, your “fun collector is full.” Thanks, Uncle Ron! The thing is, you can’t just leave early — you have to come up with a reason. Whether you feign sickness, an early morning, or later plans (ha!), you’ll come up with a foolproof way to get outta there.
STAGE 6 – Post a pic from the party
Hey, if you’re going to go to a party, you might as well get the “cool points” for braving the outside world. Introverts know, after all, that it’s important to look like you enjoy going out. Now burrow into those covers and get to internet browsing!
How do you feel when you go to parties? Let us know in the comments below!