Funny Articles

Students Nearly Banned from Graduation For TWERKING

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A “Twerking” video featuring over 30 students at Scripps Ranch High School has caught the attention of the school board. Since the school has a policy against any conduct of a sexual nature. Now, the video was filmed AT school and WITH school equipment, so the school board believes they’re okay to discipline the students. And their punishment? Suspension.

twerk graduation last of us
“Aw man, three days without school? Right when The Last of Us is coming out? Aw man! AWW MAN.”

But for the six seniors in the group of Twerkeres, there was a bigger issue — it looked for a while that they wouldn’t be allowed to walk at their graduation ceremony. Now, the on-stage walk in cap and gown to collect a high school diploma is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. Surely it isn’t worth it to sacrifice that for a Twerking video, is it?

twerk graduation twerking video
Although, perhaps the reason none of us make beautiful things is that we aren’t willing to pay the cost for our art.

I just worry that this sets a dangerous precedent — twerking COULD be inappropriate for school, sure, but what about other kinds of dancing? Grinding? MAYBE INAPPROPRIATE. Pop ‘n’lock? WHY NOT? A LITTLE BIT INAPPROPRIATE. Dancin’ real close with your sweetheart? POTENTIALLY INAPPROPRIATE. What’s next?!

twerk graduation high school musical
Might we need to suspend ALL of those High School Musical kids?

While the seniors were eventually allowed to walk in their graduation ceremony, I would argue that that’s the TRUE punishment. See, since receiving your diploma is such a once-in-a-lifetime thing, we build it up in our heads as this important, life-changing event. In reality, high school graduations are just two REALLY BORING HOURS of sitting in uncomfortable folding chairs while your family looms over you, hating you for making them come to this. THEN you’re herded up to the stage, like cattle, where a principal you’ve met, like, once gives you your diploma. EXCEPT IT ISN’T EVEN YOUR DIPLOMA. It’s a blank piece of paper!

twerk graduation blank paper
PICTURED: Real once-in-a-lifetime moment.

Did these students deserve to walk at their graduation? Let me know on Twitter at @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!


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