Summer Activities That Are Harder With Giant Boobs
I think we can all agree that there ain't nothing wrong with boobs. Not only are they all kinds of yay, just having them can make your life much easier in many situations. Like if you want to trespass for instance:
And summer is an especially great time to have boobs…display them at the beach or while lounging by the pool. People will be glad when you do. But there are some summer activities that are not very boob-friendly. Especially when the boobs are on the large side. These are just a few examples of funbags making fun times not so fun.
It's not easy to perfect your golf swing when you can't see the tee through your teets. It is the ultimate golfing handicap. Besides, do you really want to be endlessly bombarded with racy innendo about strokes and putting one in the hole from your fellow golfers? Even grosser is the fact that that isn't a five iron in their polyester pants, they really are happy to see you. Flip them the birdie and take your jumbos to the mini golf course.
Setting Off Fireworks
Lighting fireworks is a dangerous activity for anyone. Knockers or no knockers. Don't let your flappers turn into fuses because they get in the way of a roman candle misfire. Pyrotechnic displays should not involve displaying your bare boobies and screaming for people to put out the fire on your sparklers. Although admittedly that would be quite a show.
Learning To Surf
Surfing is all about balance. Adding a pair of torpedoes to the mix just makes it that much harder. Torpedoes can be a little heavy and cumbersome. Why do you think subs are below water? The good news is when you fall you will have a buoyant pair to keep you afloat. And a ton of hot surfers willing to help you try the less challenging sport of boogie boarding.
Frolicking In A Park
There's a reason that all female gymnasts are flatter than Justin Bieber. You need a streamlined physique to get that aero-dynamic action going. Back flips with big boobies are just painful for everyone involved. Juicy melons are definitely a summer staple. But save them for the picnic buffet.
Keeping Your Beach Bod Tight
I can't imagine working out…much less so with two huge sandbags strapped to my chest! I would think having jumbo juggs would make everything else on your body look slimmer by comparison, but apparently not. New rule–if your butterballs are so big that it takes you ten minute to do one sit-up, they are also big enough to distract from any other minor body flaws that are irrationally making you feel like a…well, a butterball.
Going On Amusement Park Rides
First there's the problem of getting those restraints over your rib balloons. And even if you accomplish that feat, you still have to make sure that the power of physics doesn't expose your pontoons to everyone in the park. It will always happen on the drop when they take the funny photo, too! So don't be surprised when you're exiting and everyone has their cell phones out taking pics of your peaks. The good news is you'll be internet fail famous! That's good news, right?
The only thing that should be bouncing on the court are those fuzzy green balls, not your peachy flesh-balls. At the very least you should invest in a good sports bra! Your boobs will thank you in twenty years.
So there you go! I hope you and your boobs have a fun and safe summer. I also hope you and your boobs stay far away from this guy…I have a feeling he's NOT a real doctor.
What are some other summer activities that are harder with boobs? Let us know in the comments!