Taylor Lautner: The Next Tom Cruise
Taylor Lautner is concerned about his career. He doesn’t want to be typecast as a shirtless wolfboy for the rest of his life.
Those are his acting abs
Since most people think he’s as bad an actor as Kristen Stewart, it’s probably smart of him to think who might hire him once the whole Twilight thing is thankfully over. Not so many movies feature pubescent werewolves.
But there’s hope for Taylor! According to online sources, Taylor Lautner should copy Tom Cruise’s career moves.
John Singleton, Taylor’s director in his upcoming post-Twilight movie Abduction (no, it's not about abs), advised Lautner to follow Tom Cruise’s professional path to greatness. He recommended Taylor should watch Tom’s development as an actor by studying his evolution over three roles:
Born on the Fourth of July
The secret to good acting is keeping your arms up.
We love this idea! But if Taylor really wants to be a shining star, just like Tom, he’s going to have to learn more than how to shake his fist at his co-stars. We think Taylor needs a few more skills to navigate Hollywood as an A-list celebrity.
First off, Taylor should develop a really douchey smile and make sure he looks like a tool when he waves at people. Tom has it down!
Of course, he'll need to learn how to jump on furniture.
On Letterman, Tom made the mistake of pointing his fingers when he was trying to jump, which makes it harder jump very high. He should also bend his knees more.
He did much better on Oprah. He’s crouching down, making fists and squishing up his face. But there’s still room for improvement. We’d like to see him clear at least 12” inches.
Taylor will also need to become a Scientologist. After he gives all his money away, he can hang out at the Scientology Celebrity Center and make big movie deals with other famous Scientologists, like Kirstie Alley, Lisa Marie Presley and Beck.
Taylor will also need to learn how to wear a beard. Tom has worn a beard in many different movies, like Tropic Thunder and Born on the Fourth of July, but the biggest and most famous beard he wears is his wife, Katie Holmes.
Taylor’s career will be even more successful if he manages to piss off Brooke Shields. When Tom did it, he was (ironically) talking about how no one really needs crazy meds. Maybe Taylor could tell her “Endless Love” sucked.
We predict that if Taylor follows all this sage advice, he can have a career just like Tom’s. We look forward to seeing Taylor star in Mission Impossible: 47 and shout like a raving lunatic on TV.
Do you have any career advice for Taylor? Tell us in the comments!