Funny Articles

Things We’d Transform Into If We Were A Transformer

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While the Transformers weren’t super mainstream until the release of the first, and only decent movie, they did have a very large and consistent fan base before then. Admit it — you spent a chunk of your childhood thinking about what you would Transform into if you were a Transformer. And I am no different.


Remember the Transformers that turned into enormous Stereos? Well, that technology is outdated, so the best way to be a Transformer that wouldn’t need to engage in combat very much (I am a coward) due to their not-combat related transformation would be a movie projector. You know, I could be useful in the way that I could project plans for battle onto a wall, and also when we’re not planning fights I could be used to show movies in a backyard.

An old-timey bicycle


Transforming into an old-timey bicycle is less about the bicycle and more about what I would probably look like when I was in robot form — spats, a big handlebar mustache, a petticoat. I’d look ridiculous!

Door opening robot

I love complaining, so Transforming into a useless robot prototype would really give me a lot of material.

A better man

Barbara, I swear, if you just give me the chance I will say the words “Will Weldon, Transform and roll-out” and become the man you always wished I was, the man you thought I would be when you first met me; a kinder man, a stronger man, a man with drive and vision and purpose. Please, just… just give me the chance to Transform into that man for you.

A nice hat


Barbara loves hats.