Funny Articles

The Top 7 Lies Parents Tell Their Children

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Parents lie to their children all the time. Almost everything parents say to their children is a lie. You've probably heard such common lies as "It's OK, Muffy's in cat heaven now," and, "I love you," but there are many many lies that parents tell in addition to the ones we're all familiar with. Here are some of the most common.


Don't Be Silly, Monsters Aren't Real, Now Go Back To Bed


Your parents know very well monsters are real. That's what parents do when you fall asleep. They get out shotguns and roam the town killing monster after monster with no trace of remorse. But some monsters slip through the wall of shotgun toting parents at the edge of town, and that's why kids go missing.


Praying Will Help Your Junior League Soccer Team Win


Everybody knows that the only sports team God listens to is the Los Angeles Lakers.


Your Father And I Aren't Fighting


Oooook mom, whatever you say.


If You Put Your Mind To It, You Can Be Anything You Want To Be


That is not true. You can be either a mechanic or that guy  they put a rubber suit on so they can test out how vicious attack dogs are on him.


Of Course Your Father And I Don't Hide The Best Meat In Our Bathroom Cabinets And Eat It Ourselves When You're Not Home


I knew I smelled good marbling when I went in your room to borrow a pair of socks.


This Isn't Coming For You, And If It Was, It Could Be Stopped


It is. And It Can't.


I Know Better Than You


Adults know about as much as children about what makes sense and what they should do. In fact, science has shown us that every year they are alive after they turn 18, humans lose over 50% of their brain matter. That's why by the time an adult is 40 they have a really small head.


What other lies do parents tell? Let us know in the comments!


Check Out What Parents Do While You're Asleep!