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10 Tourist Sites Being Ruined by Tourists

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What’s the worst thing about tourist attractions? The tourists. They’re loud, disruptive, drunk, and stupid. They climb on and touch things they shouldn’t, engrave their names on ancient statues, and destroy thousands of years of history with their greasy fingers. This is true of all tourists except me, of course. And you, right? We’re not like that. We’re great. But unfortunately, many of the world’s most incredible sites are being absolutely ruined. Here are ten you should start grieving now.

1) Venice

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Cruise ships are ruining Venice. They mess up the water line and their vibrations are even causing some old buildings to crack and crumble. And the tourists who get off those cruise ships are just as bad — sure, they probably pay for 90 percent of the city’s economy, but the intense crush of people is turning a unique and historic city into a claustrophobic mess of humanity. Just imagine how expensive buying a house would be. Eventually tourists might run all the natives right out of Venice, and the city will become Italy’s Disneyland until it sinks into the ocean.

2) Machu Picchu

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Machu Picchu was untouched by the outside world until about hundred years ago, and now the hundreds of thousands of tourists per year are destroying the ancient city (which was never designed to withstand so much foot traffic). This is all The Emperor’s New Groove’s fault.

3) Mount Everest

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Hundreds of people reach the summit every year, and they leave garbage in their wake. The tallest mountain on Earth is now covered in trash and frozen human poop. All the mountain climbers are like “man this is tough, I don’t want to carry this sh*t” so they just abandon their tents, mugs, and crampons. Sometimes hikers even die up there, and then their frozen corpses stay on the mountain for eternity. How rude.

4) The Great Wall of China

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The Great Wall of China is being slowly destroyed by tourists who take parts of the wall home as souvenirs, scratch their names in the stone, and degrade the wall just by walking on it. There’s no way the government could guard the whole thing since it’s so long (not that they’re helping matters — parts of the wall have been torn down for development), and relying on the goodness of humans never turns out well.

5) Ancient Egyptian Tombs

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Many Ancient Egyptian tombs in the Valley of the Kings are now closed to the public because everything tourists do harms them — even breathing causes carbon dioxide to harm the delicate wall paintings. Photography is strictly forbidden because dummies wouldn’t stop taking flash photos, which bleach the paintings. Also, every time a tomb is opened, the soul of the mummy inside comes back from the afterlife and is forced to roam the Earth as an evil spirit. It’s really a problem.

6) The Colosseum

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The Roman Colosseum is one of the great surviving wonders of the ancient world, and it’s undergone more decay in the last 50 years than it did in the previous thousand. Part of the problem comes from Rome’s choking pollution, but tourists continue to engrave their names on walls (there’s now a 20,000 Euro fine for this, and I couldn’t be happier) and try to chip off pieces to take home with them. Idea — all tourists who scratch their initials into the Colosseum wall get thrown into the pit and have to fight each other. Deal?

7) Angkor Wat

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Angkor Wat is famous for being one of the most beautiful historical sites on Earth… as well as appearing in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. Now it has way too many tourists and they’re climbing on sh*t and touching ancient carvings and taking naked photos of themselves. Yes, there is an epidemic of total pieces of crap taking naked photos of themselves at this historical religious site. Get naked at home (or at the very least in Las Vegas) you creeps.

8) Stonehenge

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Stonehenge has been majorly f*cked over both by tourists and the idiots who are supposed to take care of it. Tourists have chipped off parts of the stones, and both tourists and caretakers have moved some of the stones from their original positions to make it look more aesthetically pleasing to modern eyes. Which is INSANE because when the aliens come back where are they supposed to land?! Stonehenge is CLEARLY telling aliens how to get to Earth. DON’T RUIN THIS FOR ME, TOURISTS.

9) Majorca

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Majorca is not only overrun by tourists, but by extremely drunk tourists. Drunk partiers probably forget that actual real people live in Majorca, and those actual real people don’t like being confronted by screaming, naked, barfing frat boys on every corner. Not to mention the fact that tourists frequently get killed in Majorca by doing stupid stuff like jumping off of balconies into pools. That just harshes Majorcans’ mellow.

10) Paris

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Yeah, the whole thing. There are tourists everywhere. Go home, tourists! Stop making out everywhere! Honestly if the tourists would just stop kissing on every damn street corner, they’d be fine. Paris is an amazing city but it’s not that romantic. You’re standing next to a Starbucks. Stop kissing.

Have you ever been to a tourist site that’s being destroyed by tourists? Are you a nice, respectful tourist, or a horrible monster? Tell me @erikaheidewald or leave a comment!

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