Funny Articles

10 Toys That Were Just Really Ugly

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The following toys may not be actively trying to kill you, but that doesn’t mean you’d want them in your house. Check out these ugly-ass toys.



Hideous monster puppets made of unsettling rubber, these could be made even grosser by putting your finger behind its eye and making them bulge out.

Gross Out Gang



Mission Accomplished.



Another classic “intentionally ugly toy”, Madballs were made all the more disturbing by the fact that, due to their size, you frequently lost them, only to stumble upon this truly upsetting toy when you least expected it.

Funko POP Vinyl Dolls



I think these are the ugliest things I’ve ever seen and cannot fathom why people waste money on them.

Troll Dolls



First of all, the whole “jewel in the stomach” thing seemed incredibly sinister to me, and also these things all look insanely hungover.

The Mask Pencil Toppers



Based on the cartoon based on the movie that was decidedly not for children (kids cartoons based on movies not for kids were pretty common in the early-to-mid ’90s), these things came free in some brand of cereal, and I honestly would not go anywhere near a pencil that had one on top.

Stretch Armstrong



Not only does this guy have the wall-to-wall insincere grin of a pedophile, he also is super stretchy, a quality that is enormously unnerving, especially when your limbs have no defining details.

Hugga Bunch Dolls



How about Hugga Never In My God Damned Life.

Puppy Surprise



Have you ever seen a dog give birth?

The Face Bank



Nothing like a face with only the most basic of facial features to make you wince every time you look at it.

Penny Pumpkin



The thing about Cabbage Patch Dolls is that they JUST BARELY managed to pull off not being hideously ugly. The same cannot be said for their many knock-offs, however.

Nobody’s swiping right on these Tinder profiles, I tell you what.