7 Types Of Hot Problems
So by now we've all been taught a thing or two from the song 'Hot Problems'. 'Hot Problems' are like 'First World Problems' but hot. And less educated, but no less devastating to those who suffer from them. Now personally, I don't have 'Hot Problems', but sometimes I get out of my sock monkey PJs, brush my hair, throw on a dress and put on some lipstick, and people just can't stop talking about how pretty I am when I make an effort. So I kind of have an idea how it must feel. But what exactly ARE 'Hot Problems' ? Here's what I found by examining the lyrics to 'Hot Problems' and through other unscientific research.
Perfection Takes A lot Of Work
Obviously people suffering 'Hot Problems' could just roll out of bed and be runway ready, if they wanted to. But natural beauty is NOT enough for these perfectionists. According to the song, they want to be the TEXTBOOK HOT. So that means drawing on eyebrows, inflating body parts with surgery and when all else fails, doing hack Photoshop on their duckface Facebook photos and never leaving the house. It's much easier to just skip right away to not leaving the house, in my experience.
Sometimes Being Hot Can Leave You Feeling Lonely And Isolated
There is nothing haters hate more than people suffering from 'Hot Problems'. Look at poor Rebecca D. above…she is clearly stating she is kind to small animals, she is a zoo model and she is HOT LIKE FIRE. We all know it. And yet no one is taking her up on an enticing offer to play in her league with massage oil. Clearly everyone hates her because they're jealous. I don't know what a zoo model is, but it sounds like a gig 'America's Next Top Model' winners might get. And that's gotta be a good thing..right?
You Can't Be Near A Mirror Without Snapping A Sexy Mirror Pic
This must be so time consuming! I must be really un-hot because I haven't done this once in my whole life. JK! I'm actually super-hot but just too busy to obsess over myself in front of the mirror. JK. I've never done it because I live in fear of being mocked on the internet. Thank goodness for people suffering from 'Hot Problems'!
People Think You're Dumb
I don't know why people would make such an unjust assumption.
The Opposite Sex Is Intimidated By Your Hotness
It's really hard to hook-up when everyone considers you out of their league, even if you make it clear that you are open to a relationship! Sometimes it seems like the only relationship a hottie has is between her FB underboob photos and the guys who FAP to them. How sad! I never have to worry about creepers fapping to the pic I took of myself in Photo Booth with the Pop Art effect. Better not post that underboob pic I took with the bulge effect!
If They're Not Intimidated, It's Because They Think You're A Slut
I find it sad that we live in a world where a girl can't wear a see-through blouse and flaunt her butt cleavage without people thinking she's a slut. 'Hot Problems' can be infuriating! I mean take Kim Kardashian for example. She's a beautiful and wildly successful business woman and yet everyone still just thinks of her as someone who got peed on by Ray J. They wouldn't do that if she wasn't hot. They also wouldn't do that if she didn't let a dude pee on her…BUT STILL!
Sometimes Your Hotness Makes You Feel Bad
Like when your mom makes you hang with your 'nottie' cousin and you don't have a bathing suit she can borrow so she has to wear the shirt your dad wears when he works on his car. The only thing worse than that feeling…would NOT BEING HOT!! HAHAHAHAHA! Too bad! So sad!
What are some other problems you have when you're super hot? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!