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5 Unnecessarily Complicated Japanese Video Game Weapons

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I guess Japan has had swords around for so long they just got tired of the same old thing. So it drove them mad and the only thing they could do was make video game weapons with so many components to them that if a person in real life tried to wield them they would cut themselves on all the sharp edges and accidentally shoot themselves with the gun that they didn't know was hidden in the crazy shell that hangs from the handle for no reason. Check out how complicated these weapons get:

 

Sepha's Bow – Final Fantasy XIII-2

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I makes sense that you'd want to shoot three bad guys at the same time, I get that, but whatever you do don't let the bow fall on you, unless you want to straight up guillotined by the crazy sharp blades FACING YOU WHILE YOU SHOOT.

 

Gaert's Sword – Guild Wars

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It's a bad ass looking sword, but all those nooks and crannies are pretty g*ddamn superfluous. What kind of creature would it be most effective against? "Yeah, I'm gonna kill you with this sword. How you ask? Well I'll stab you, and then, sh*t the little pointy part got caught on your rib cage, that always happens. What's that circular indent for? Hell if I know. Ummm, could you move around and get the sword unstuck so I can penetrate you deeper? No? OK, I can see where you're coming from with that."

 

Omega Weapon – Final Fantasy XIII

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About as useful in battle as throwing a handfull of puzzle pieces at an enemy, this sword is so unwieldy it looks like it was originally designed to be able to roast multiple marshmallows and hot dogs at the same time while you're camping.

 

Soul Blade- Soul Caliber

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How many people in one on one fighting tournaments need a sword that grants them the power to overcome the fear of loss?

 

Sparda- Devil May Cry

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Not only is one whole side of this sword completely dull, but the blade extends all the way down the hilt, so you're constantly cutting your own hand while you wield it! What kind of bullsh*t is that, guy who made that sword?

 

What crazy sh*t would you do to make your sword or other weapon awesome? Let us know in the comments!

 

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