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What To Do If You’re Arrested

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Nobody plans on getting arrested but sometimes despite our best efforts, it happens anyway. Don't wait till you're arrested to figure out what to do if you're arrested. Go into it knowing your rights and covering your ass.


Things You Need To Know

Do use the words "sir" and "ma'am", be respectful. Being a jerk is just going to get you tazed bro.


Try to remember everyting. The description of the cop, license plate numbers, whatever… make sure to write it down immediately. When you get to court you're going to need to remember all of this. I hope you paid attention in school.


This may come as a shock to you but the cops are not your friends. If you get arrested you become Hello Kitty. Notice that Hello Kitty has no mouth. Hello Kitty can't talk, and you don't talk. You don't have to be rude about it, you just ask to talk your parents and a laywer and then you zip your lip.


Once you get to jail you have three choices if you want to survive:

1. You could get a really big boyfriend/girlfriend. I suggest that if you're going to go this route you pick the biggest baddest b*&ch in the joint. It's not the best job in the world, but it'll keep you alive.


2. You could join a gang. Again, I suggest the biggest and baddest of the gangs. You don't want to join the wussie gang by mistake. All that's gonna get you is an ass kicking.


3. Get involved in an educational program. It's not going to save your ass, but you'll at least come out of the joint with some knowledge.


And if all else fails… there's always Thriller!


Check Out Put Me In Jail Please!