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What If Quentin Tarantino Directed An Episode Of Dora The Explorer

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Quentin Tarantino is a very well respected film maker who has tried his hand at many genres. He did brilliant work directing the horror film "From Dusk Till Dawn," thoughtfully deconstructed the action genre with "Inglorious Basterds," practically reinvented the crime genre with "Pulp Fiction," and brought us unforgettable laughter and tears with his hilarious romantic comedy, "Natural Born Killers."


One genre he has yet to try his auteur hand at is children's fare. So we're taking this opportunity to imagine just some of the potential ways Mr. Tarantino might lend his skill and creativity to the much beloved children's series "Dora The Explorer."


Swiper Would Act Differently


Swiper's manifest desire to steal, and his reasoning, "I just love swiping," would stay the same. But Swiper would become far more nervous, and his temper would often flair into acts of real, brief, but explosive violence. Every time he hurt someone he loved he would outwardly shrug it off, but it would stay with him, leading to ever increasing risk taking and larger, scarier violent outbursts that would ultimately lead to his downfall.


Boots Would Try Heroin


Boots loves making exciting decisions. Tempted by Swiper, Boots would try heroin and fall in love with the delicious oblivion that his veins sucked out of every needle. To support his addiction he would help Swiper steal as best he could. But he would be ever more unreliable and eventually Boots would have to sell the very footwear that gave him his namesake to feed his disease. Left without even his signature red boots, he would eventually commit suicide by cop.


Dora Would Have A Different Past


Dora's past, prior to Quentin's vision, is that she grew up with a nice family. In the reimagined world of Dora she would have been the child bride of an elderly, reclusive Yakuza. Left alone at the alter when a rival Yakuza faction had a spy in the groom's party behead her husband, she now spends the rest of her life teaching herself the art of the sword, so that she can one day behead he who beheaded her only love, and her quest to behead her rival would teach children about the value of revenge, the dark almost erotic power of the feeling of taking a life, and basic Spanish.


Dora Would Deal With Swiper Differently


When Swiper tried to steal her buttons that she found under a tree, or her hankerchief that a bird gave her for helping it build it's nest, Dora would punish Swiper by beating him half to death with the butt of her gun.


Dora Would Live In A Different Place


Rather than a nice forest, Dora would live in "Rio Diablo," a dirty gambling town on the U.S. Mexico border full of colorful, but very dangerous characters who would cut your throat as soon as seduce you.


Steve Buscemi Would Replace The Current Actor Playing Swiper, And Tim Roth Would Play Boots.


Quention likes to work with people he trusts.


The Episodes Would Have A Different "Flavor"


Quentin Tarantino is the undisputed master of drawn out tension. So most of the Episodes would begin with Dora and Boots sitting at a table in their cottage deciding what they would like to do on such a lovely day, meanwhile a Nazi Commander would be slowly driving toward the cottage, alerted by Swiper that Dora and Boots might be hiding Jews. The last twenty minutes of the episode would consistant of the Nazi Commander, a powerful, rational, unblinking man with a scar shaped like a swastika cut deeply into his forehead, sitting across from Dora and Boots in the cabin. He would slowly drink the orange juice that they offered him and talk about music, while slowly inserted little hints that he knew exactly where Dora and Boots were hiding the Jews. Dora would sneak looks at the gun he kept in his lapel, small beads of sweat dripping down her forehead. Now and again the camera would follow the sweat as it fell from her head and dropped through the wooden floor, to the dark room below, where several terrified Jews were huddling, shivering from fear, listening to the conversation above. Eventually somehow the episode would teach any kids watching it the Spanish word, "Platano." Also, there would be a 20 minute sword fight in the snow at the end between Dora and the Nazi.


What other changes could you expect from a Quentin Tarantino directed Dora episode? Let us know in the comments!


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