Funny Articles

Will Kids Under 13 Be Allowed to Join Facebook?

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Facebook has evolved from being a closed platform, where only college students could create a profile, to an open one, where even my mom, who believes college is a liberal bastion of gay feminist professors who brainwash children into wanting to learn about science and give medicine to poor people so they don't die, can get one.

professional mom
"Barack Obama's not going to eat my teeth!"

But how open can Facebook become? It would seem as though the limit is about to be tested, as Facebook has been signaling that it's ready to lose the age restrictions and let kids under the age of thirteen create profiles without the permission of their parents. Get ready for obscure song lyric statuses to be replaced by obscure iCarly quote statuses.

icarly kids
An… improvement?

As it is right now, plenty of kids have had their parents help them set up their profiles, and really, Facebook doesn't have a system in place to keep the under 13 crowd out. The kids are already there. Facebook deciding to shrug their shoulders and be okay with it is like last summer when I stopped calling the exterminator every week and decided to just accept the bedbugs as roommates.

"Come on guys, rent was due, like, yesterday."

That said, easing the age restrictions could be a huge money-maker for Facebook. Kids want to be on Facebook, they spend a ton of time playing games (from which Facebook makes a lot of its revenue), and they believe everything any one tells them, which makes them an advertiser's dream.

candy from strangers
Sounds like everyone wins.

Should Facebook grant access to children? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!


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