7 Worst Biopic Castings
Actors LOVE playing other famous people. It’s one of the surest ways to get some highly-coveted acting awards, not that actors care about such things. They just care about their craft…am I right? But playing a famous person isn’t always a guarantee that you’ll be getting a ton of accolades, unless maybe you’re Meryl Streep or Daniel Day-Lewis. Here’s a look at 7 biopic casting that only deserved one award. A booby prize.
Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor
Seriously? Seriously? Jeez! This was so, so wrong. Yes, like Taylor, Lohan was also an ex-child star who has spent time in rehab, but the similarities end there. They look nothing alike and Lohan, despite her early promise, can NOT act. She’s such a terrible actress that she wasn’t even convincing in the scenes where Liz was supposed to be wasted and you know she was probably wasted when she filmed them!!! I used to long for a Lohan comeback, but now I just long for her to never comeback. It’s just too sad.
Josh Brolin as George W. Bush
Brolin as Dubya, just did nothing for me. And honestly, the last thing anyone wanted to see after Bush left office was a movie about Bush, even it if had been a great flick. Brolin should stick to doing great movies like ‘The Goonies’. I don’t care what anyone says, I love that movie! Chunk and Sloth forever!! You know I’m totally watching it as soon as finish writing this article.
Jennifer Love Hewitt as Audrey Hepburn
Can you even imagine having the nerve to think you can play Audrey Hepburn?? This casting made me go from not caring about Jennifer Love Hewitt at all to disliking her immensely. I’m sure she’s devastated by that knowledge. I pretty much think no one can play Hepburn, but I might give Natalie Portman a pass. The truth is though, she would probably be smart enough to turn the role down. UNLIKE SOME ACTRESSES I KNOW.
Leonardo DiCaprio as J. Edgar Hoover
We get it Leo…you really, really want an Oscar and you’ve got the biopics on your IMDB page to prove it. But you’re still a young, attractive guy! You’ll have plenty of time, in a few years, to play pompous bloated messes. Hell…you could even be a pompous bloated mess yourself in a few years. Don’t worry, you’ll still be hooking up with Victoria’s Secret models no matter how fug you get. Life is so fair fellow non-celebs, ain’t it?
Hayden Christensen as Bob Dylan
Okay, technically Hayden’s character was referred to as ‘The Musician’ in the film ‘Factory Girl’, but it’s pretty obvious that he’s supposed to be playing legendary troubadour, Bob Dylan. He’s so damn terrible in the role though, I’m guessing the producers didn’t want to be sued for defamation of character or something. I wish we could all sue him for defaming the legacy of Darth Vader.
Zoe Saldana as Nina Simone
This movie hasn’t even come out yet, but it’s already causing a stir based on photos from the set showing Saldana in character as singing legend Simone. I’m guessing the performance is going to be as convincing as the hack makeup job.
Robert Pattinson as Salvador Dali
If you ever wondered how it was possible for Pattinson to not feel like a total chump playing a sparkling vampire, it’s probably because the role of Edward came to him after he sported this ludicrous mustache in the Dali biopic, Little Ashes. I miss when he was most famous for the role of Cedric Diggory. I also miss when Twilight wasn’t a ‘thing’. Sigh.
Which one do you think is the worst? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!