7 Worst Places To Haunt (If You’re A Ghost)
It is generally agreed in both movies and literature that if you are a ghost you haunt the place you died. As part of being a ghost it is your curse to forever haunt the place you were killed scaring anyone who might enter your space in mourning for the unfairness or tragic circumstances in which your life ended. So if you think you're going to end up a ghost, definitely try to get killed in the Playboy Mansion. They have like six jacuzzis and buffalo wings whenever you want them. But some places would be a real bummer to haunt forever like…
A Port-A-Potty At Lollapalooza
First of all it's gross in there and the guy who's supposed to come by and suck out all the waste is always days late, not to mention how cramped it is. You've only got like 3 square feet of space to haunt. And most people are too distracted by how badly they have to go or throw up to get successfully haunted.
The Haunted Mansion Ride At Disneyland
You're a ghost and you've thought of the ultimate spooky thing to do. You're all excited because scaring people is basically all there is to do in the afterlife. So you do your sweet ultimate scaring technique and everybody laughs. Why? Because they're in the Haunted Mansion ride and no matter what you try everyone just thinks it's part of the ride. You spent all that time figuring out how to cry tears of blood and throw up cockroaches with human children's faces and everyone just thinks you're exactly the same as the ghost that trips and drops his suitcase.
A Graveyard That An Annoying Depressed Ghost Is Already Haunting
Lame. Now you get to spend all of eternity listening to this ghost whine about how he always sleeps too late and it makes him feel like he's wasted his whole day.
A Whimsical Little Girl's Room
Little girls see the world through a lens of wonder and mystery. They aren't afraid of ghosts or bears or anything. More than likely you'll appear and go "Boo!" and she'll girl and make a little hat out of flowers for you and serve you and her stuffed animals imaginary tea. Probably she'll also give you a name like "Booghead" or "Mr. Pots" or "Bunny Number 2."
The Set Of A Yo Gabba Gabba Episode
A blue thing, an orange one-eyed pickle with boils all over it, a robot, a giant pink naked girl with a flower for a brain, a green monster with a uni-brow, OK ghost, good luck trying to stand out in the middle of whatever the hell is going on on that show.
The Middle Of The Desert
Don't die a violent death in the middle of the desert, or the only thing you'll be haunting in a lizard every couple of months when one happens to scamper by. And it'll probably just stare at you, stick it's tongue out a couple of times, maybe go to the bathroom, and then take off not really giving a crap.
Nicholas Cage's House
Nicholas Cage is way crazier than a ghost will ever be. Try to go in the kitchen and throw all the dishes around to scare Nicholas Cage? He's already in the kitchen taking bites out of the dishes and throwing them at the maid. Try to scare him by coming back as a skeleton and walking around his bedroom? He's already got a pile of human bones for some reason that he's yelling at and pissing on because for some reason he thinks urine will bring them back to life.
Who are some other crappy places to haunt? Let us know in the comments!