The Worst Places to Run Into Your Teacher
Yes, teachers are human beings with lives away from their workplace. But as Janis said in Mean Girls, seeing one of your teachers outside of school is “like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs”. It’s startling, mesmerizing, and it all seems a bit unnatural. Still, there are some places you never want to run into your teacher. Here are a few of the worst.
A wild concert
Moshing, dancing, singing along — this concert is actually pretty crazy and fun… minus the fact that you’re seeing your biology teacher across the room sweatier than you’ve ever seen him before. Plus, he’s wearing a tie, but ironically? Seeing your teacher cut loose is jarring.
A sex shop
We don’t have to get too into it, but you’re at a sex shop. Your teacher’s also at a sex shop> And it’s the same sex shop. And you’re making eye contact while you both hold objects that would not be allowed at school. All you wanted to do was turn 18 and run down the “these are the places I can go now” list with your friends, but you’ve instead been given a horrible insight into your teacher’s life and whoever it is he’s getting down with.
Tonight’s the night you’re meeting your mom’s new boyfriend in a friendly introductory dinner at Applebee’s. You walk into the restaurant and spot your mom already seated, but why is your bio teacher sitting next to her holding her hand? And now you now know his first name is Gerald. TOO PERSONAL.
“Gerald, can you please pass the potatoes?” You’re cordial while sitting next to your bio teacher at the annual family Thanksgiving get-together because he makes your mom happy, but there’s some resentment building. He gave you a C on your final lab report and now you have to pretend everything’s cool as you hang out at your grandma’s house. What the f*ck Geri? Those experiment results were detailed.
The car, picking you up from the airport when you’re visiting home from college
You’re done with your first semester of college and what do you see when you first step out of the airport? Gerald, sitting in the passenger seat, saying “step-dad is proud of you!” Gerald might have dated your mom for a year and then married her, but you’re not close enough for a third-person-reference title change yet. Calm down, Gerald. Calm down.
Teachers, man. What awful spots do you hope to never see your teacher at? Share them with me on Twitter @laradeford!