Funny Articles

Why Weren’t Yoshi and Metroid at E3? WE ARE ON THE CASE

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When Nintendo dropped their E3 Direct yesterday, it focused a bulk of its running time on Smash Bros. Ultimate. But other games were show too — we got updates on Hollow Knight, Daemon X Machina, and Super Mario Party. And those games are all well and good, but where were the heavy-hitters from last year? In an earlier Direct this year, we found out about the adorable Yoshi game coming to Switch, and at the 2017 Nintendo E3 Direct, we learned about Metroid Prime 4. But at this year’s E3, neither game appeared.

Something’s off about those games. Something’s gone wrong. Something like… murder.

And I’m going to get to the bottom of it.

If Nintendo didn’t want me thinking like a detective, they shouldn’t have put LA Noire on the Switch.

Nintendo’s Bill Trinen gave IGN a likely story, saying “We want to show stuff when we think it’s ready to show. Obviously it’s not like we’ve stopped working on any of the things we talked about last year, that stuff’s all being worked on.”

And that’s a pretty reasonable account… for Metroid. That game might not come out until 2025 for all we know. No reason to show it if it’s not ready to show. Nintendo knows Metroid fans don’t want them to put out something just to shut us up.

We learned our lesson.

But we saw gameplay from Yoshi just this year. What’s Nintendo done with it? Where’d it go? I think I know.

Even if Yoshi were just getting delayed, I still think it would make sense to show a hint of it at E3. Yoshi’s complete absence suggests Nintendo doesn’t want us thinking about it. They want it swept under the rug. I think Nintendo… is a MURDERER.

Of a game. Which means it’s cancelled. (You can’t murder Yoshi. He is fictional.)

And if you could, we would all be guilty. EVERY LAST ONE OF US.

Do you think Yoshi is cancelled? Or am I making connections that aren’t there (which is very common in the private eye field)? Let us know on Twitter @Smosh!