You Can Send This Text to Crash Your Friends’ iPhones, but SHOULD YOU? (You Shouldn’t)
If you’re wondering what it’s like to live with anxiety, and aren’t into illustrations, imagine this — at any time, at any place, something terrible could just happen. They have no reason to, of course, but they could, and to someone with anxiety, that means they will.
That’s the borderline unlivable state every iPhone user finds themselves in today, after the discovery of what I, along with the rest of the internet, have dubbed the “effective power” text. A glitch in the iPhone operating system has made it so that any iPhone user receiving a text with a specific set of characters will see their device shut down suddenly and without warning. There’s no lasting damage, but the idea that your phone could go dark right as you’re getting to an interesting part of your podcast is should give all of us pause. Here’s the effective power text in action:
This could unleash a stream of mild inconveniences the likes of which iPhone users have never seen.
I considered holding back the exact text, but goddammit, it’s not my job to decide what information the public is and isn’t ready for — that’s up to the boys in the government. And so, here is the character combination that will shut down your homeboys’ iPhones:
effective. Power لُلُصّبُلُلصّبُررً ॣ ॣh ॣ ॣ 冗
Please, use it responsibly. Don’t just text your friends for a laugh, wait until you’re with someone talking loudly on the phone at a coffee shop, texting during a movie, or taking a picture of a sunset.
Motherf*cker, your phone can’t replace the GENUINE BEAUTY and DEPTH of HUMAN EXPERIENCE (at least, not until the next iOS update).
Turning off notifications in the Messages app will keep your phone from falling victim to the reset, but then you don’t get text message notifications. There are so many kinds of bad news you could miss — what if your doctor finds something unusual in your x-rays? If you’re not getting text message notifications, you could be blind-sided. Then, you’ll not only die, but you won’t be able to prepare for it.
“We can at least take comfort in the fact that he had a full month to feel fearful.”
EDIT: I suppose a text with good news could come in too, but listen, I spend so much time planning for my eventual embarrassment and failure that I can’t even comprehend something good happening to me. GO TEAM ANXIETY!
“All right Team Anxiety, hands in! Sorry for being so domineering! I can leave if you want!”
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