Funny Articles

You Need A License For That

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You learned yesterday about the girl who was forced to get temporary restaurant license to sell lemonade. That got me thinking… there's a lot of things I'll bet you didn't know you need a license or a permit to do. So I did some research and found some of the most common things you probably do everyday, that you didn't know you needed a permit for.



If you're panhandling in downtown Memphis you're going to need a $10 permit to do so. Question: if they do get a permit do they tape their permit to their sign to show that they are a certified panhandler?


Stealing Shopping Carts From The Grocery Store

You probably didn't know that all those shopping carts you see around your neighborhood didn't just get there by some lazy old lady who is too poor to buy a wheely cart of her own… those people are certified.



When you can't beat 'em, join 'em. To get one of these you just go to your local police station and show them that you are a tagger and ask for your license.



If you're gonna watch someone elses crying brats all day, you're going to need to go down to the city and get a license… just like Joe Jonas.


Dancing In New York

Did you ever notice that there's no dancing in New York? I mean NO dancing… Other than theaters and musicals. That's because you need a Cabaret License to have any dancing in your establishment, and nobody wants to go to the Cabaret.


Having A Garage Sale

Not only is it illegal to have a garage sale without a permit, there are rules about where and when you can hang the signs for your garage sale. Some cities limit residents to one garage sale per month. If you've had a garage sale without a permit, you're a criminal!


What? Are you kidding me? Don't pick up hitchhikers… unless they look like her. She is obviously your future wife.


Working Out In Parks

People in Los Angeles are up in arms because the public has pushed city legislatures to ban working out in public parks. There are all kinds of "Boot Camps" that work out in public, using our parks. These renegade fitness trainers and their clans take up valuable napping space from the homeless, and are cluttering the areas where our dogs like to pee. The city wants to limit the number of people doing this, and force them to get a license.


Owning A Dog

That's what that little metal ring hanging around your dog's collar is for. Animal Control officers love roaming public parks to find unsuspecting people with their illegal and illigitimate mutts so that they can write you a ticket! This lovely lady learned that the hard way.


Performing In Public

You know all those freaky street performers that you pass at the Boardwalk or down town? Those people are actually licensed to do that. Almost anything could be considered a public performance so becareful. Bust a move anywhere and you could be fined. Did you know that ASCAP is claiming that your cell phone ring is a public performance… will we all need licenses for that?


Own A Gun

Judging by the amount of photos we find on the internet of Idiots With Guns… someone is taking a major snooze at the office where they give out gun licenses.


Check Out License Test!