This thread is where you can post reviews on whatever movie you have recently seen. It can be a movie you saw on DVD or in theaters. (Or on VHS. But if it is, get with the program Fred Flinstone.)

GROUND RULES:

-The review must use proper grammar and punctuation, and must be at least two full paragraphs long. (With a few exceptions.)

-If the review is stupid, uninformative, badly written etc. I will delete it from this thread. Then i will comment you with the reason why. I want this thread to be informative and interesting without becoming a bunch of one sentence bullshit spam reviews. If your review gets deleted three times, you are banned from writing reviews in this thread.

-You can comment on other reviews, but you can't re-review a movie that has already been reviewed.

-For consistency's sake, the title of your review should be in size five bold type and include the year the movie was made. Example:
Fight Club (1999)
That way they will all look nice and will be easy to find.

Here are the links to all of the reviews in this thread:

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) by Korangutang

Pushing Daises [TV] (2007) by Gripster 2000

Dirty Dancing (1987) by Korangutang

Delta Farce (2007) by ngard

Accepted (2006) by Mearl

Summer Heights High (2007) by Korangutang

Snakes on a Plane (2006) by Korangutang

Pan's Labyrinth (2006) by fluer

30 Days of Night (2007) by Jack Skellington...

No Country for Old Men (2007) by Gripster 2000

The Dark Knight [Trailer] (2007) by Gripster 2000

Requiem for a Dream (2000) by fluer

The Return (2006) by boobookittyf*ck

The Orphanage (2007) by poketron

The Wild (2006) by boobookittyf*ck

There Will Be Blood (2007) by Gripster2000

Once (2007) by Gripster 2000

Atonement (2007) by 686

Fight Club (1999) by Mearl

Underworld (2003) by Mearl

Team America: World Police (2004) by poketron

Underworld: Evolution (2006) by Mearl

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007) by Gripster2000

Hot Fuzz (2007) by Mearl

Good Luck Chuck (2007) by Mearl

Zodiac (2007) by Gripster 2000

Hot Rod (2007) by Mearl

Into the Blue (2005) by ngard

Kath & Kim [TV] (2002) by Serenity

Jumper (2008) by Gripster2000

High Noon (1952) by JaGuAr3529

Be Kind Rewind by K-Dondike

Southland Tales (2007) by poketron

Cloverfield (2008) by JaGuAr3529

Across the Universe (2007) by JaGuAr3529

Iron Man (2008) by Dragoon 3k5

Vertigo (1958) by nba185

Velvet Goldmine (1998) by bananapaws73

Iron Man (2008) by neenerbeenerx93

Gattaca (1997) by Totally Smoshin'

Hancock (2008) by K-Dondike

I'm going to do a couple reviews in the next day or so.

Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

This is yet another “stoner comedy” in the same vein as Dude, Where’s My Car? and the Harold and Kumar films. I rented (hired/whatever you want to call the process of paying money to view a DVD for a set time period then return it) this out for a week along with Clerks II, inspired after reading the thread about Jay and Silent Bob. So about 30 seconds in, I’m already laughing at the babies abandoned outside the Quick Stop, Jay and Silent Bob’s haunt. Then we find them as adults, peddling marijuana to two youths, complete with humorous rap. These two are our protagonists.

So, what is this film all about? The premise is somewhat simple. A comic made about two superheroes based on Jay and Silent Bob is being made into a movie. Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) want to stop this movie due to the fact they want to keep their good names intact and also to get payouts from the film. After leaving Jersey, they come across some student animal liberators, but all is not what it seems there. I won’t give too much away there, however the boys become wanted due to the theft of an orangutan. Will Ferrell puts in a pretty funny performance as Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly, the bumbling cop set on getting the primate back. So eventually they get to Hollywood, yeah? Well it seems the filming is already underway on the movie, with James Van Der Beek and Jason Biggs in the roles of Bluntman and Chronic, a.k.a. Jay and Silent Bob. After a bit of a melee, Jay and Silent Bob assume the roles of themselves, leading up to the climax of this film.

I have to say, I laughed my head off at this movie. The opening scene has to be one of the highlights for me. It’s probably better if you’ve seen all the View Askewniverse movies before, like I haven’t had the opportunity to do yet apart from Clerks II. Those films are Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma and Clerks II. I fully intend on hunting the rest down next time I’m in Video 2000, my local rental place. I’ve watched this movie 4 times in five days; often I never watch a rental more than once. I guess it’s kind of an addiction. If you want funny, you’ve got it right here in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I’m giving it 8.5/10.

Smokin weed smokin weed doin coke drinkin beers drinkin beers beers beers, rollin fatties smokin blunts who smokes the blunts? We smokes the blunts. Rollin blunts and smokin blunts and... fifteen bucks little man, put that shit in my hand, and if that money doesn't show then you owe me owe me owe. oweoweo my jungle love.

Sorry. Necessary reflex.

Pushing Daisies (TV Show)

I just finished watching the pilot episode of one of the most anticipated new series of the season. Pushing Daisies is about a pie maker who can touch dead things and bring them back to life. The thing is, there's a catch. If he touches that person again at any time, they will die again forever. Also, after one minute of their revival, if they are not re-touched, another person in close proximity will drop dead. Like a trade-off. The only person who knows the pie maker's secret is a police officer named Emerson, who hires him to bring murder victims to life for one minute to politely ask them who killed them. Things get a little complicated, however, when one of the murder victims turns out to be his childhood sweetheart, who's father's death is technically the pie maker's fault.

This show was created by the same person who created one of the most underrated TV shows of all time: Dead Like Me. But unlike Dead Like Me, this show doesn't hide its quirkiness as much. The whole show seems like a mixture between a Tim Burton movie and a Dr. Seuss book. The colors are weirdly vibrant, the settings are strange an unique, and the whole show just gives off this otherworldly vibe that's refreshingly original.

In a world where cookie-cutter, bullshit dramas like Grey's Anatomy become popular, it's hard to know where a show as wildly strange and original as Pushing Daisies will fit. But it sure as hell beats another show about interns fucking each other in a hospital. Watching this show gave me a warm happy feeling like a trip to Disneyland or watching Big Fish for the first time. And, when I get that feeling it usually means I've stumbled upon something great. Please watch this.

10/10

When it airs in Australia probably next year (if it goes to air at all, mind) I'll be sure to watch it.

It probably won't. We only get the shit stuff, like cookie-cutting Grey's Anatomy and America's Next Top Model.

Fucking Americans are so lucky. They have like 2389549746 channels to change if something shitty is on. We've got 6, and there's always something shitty on.


Anyway, sounds good Grip. I'll keep an eye out for it. But like I say, probably in vain.

I have 3 channels and one half channel that only works when the aerial is in a certain position.

Thinking about reviewing Dirty Dancing but I'm not sure how that one will go over.

Well I knew you would have less, but I didn't want to say anything.

Hah, I was about to say I would do a review, but I guess I have a thread for that.
Guess I'll have to stick to commenting in here.

As I said it all depends on the aerial, if it's in one direction we get one channel, if it's in the other we get the other.

You're allowed to review anything you want, but I'm hoping you're not giving it a good one. "Nobody leaves baby in a corner?" That's sickeningly bad.

EDIT: WTF guys, get cable.

LOL!!! we can't get cable in most parts of this convict island (cept for satellite), and poor Korangawhat???!!!! lives with the wombats

Cable also costs an obscene amount of money and only gets you like 20 extra channels. And they SUCK.

QFT and now i retire to our boudoir.

Meh, I was thinking along the lines of a 4 or so.

Here cable gets you like 200 more channels and some HD ones if you have an HDtv. (Which I do. 56 inches. Awesome.)

110" PWNT! and that's cause this place sucks!

Cable over here in England is pretty shitty. It gets like 100 channels but they are all pointless.
I only watch about 10 channels and 5 of them you get without cable.

Austar phails. I'm happy with 3 or so channels, thank you.

Dirty Dancing(1987)
Well. I am ashamed to admit when I was younger I actually liked this movie. I viewed it yesterday and yeah, I’m kind of sorry I did. When I was younger, I didn’t realize how much cheese it had in it. The whole thing is corny and clichéd, the basic premise essentially regarding a summer vacation in upper New York State for a well-off family, set in the early 60’s. This family consists of a stereotypical 1960s family. There is the daddy’s girl (Baby, portrayed by Jennifer Grey), the “perfect” older sister, the breadwinner dad and homemaker mother.

Out on a walk, Baby encounters one of the staff, who is struggling to carry watermelons. Being the goody-two-shoes that she is, she decides to help him. When they get to their destination, Baby discovers a world of “dirty dancing”, which corrupts her poor young mind. Oh, woe. Due to an unplanned pregnancy for Penny (Cynthia Rhodes, previously in Flashdance) the dance instructor, Baby decides to predictably take her place with Johnny (Patrick Swayze) as her partner. Even more predictably, she cannot dance to save herself. That is, at the start. Miraculously, she becomes a good dancer and does the annual gig at the Shelldrake, a rival hotel. Baby cons her dad into giving Penny money for an abortion, which doesn’t go to plan and eventually Daddy finds out, banishing Baby from associating with the staff. This does not go over too well, needless to say.

The ending is quite possibly the cheesiest piece of vision I have seen in a little while, and I’m a known lover of poor movies. It’s all incredibly predictable and clichéd, as I believe I have stated. No surprises are to occur and watching this film back yesterday, I kind of wish I had a water pistol or some other projectile or liquid launcher to use against the television, but A ) I couldn’t be bothered, and B ) I don’t wish to ruin my folks’ TV. I really want to know what made me originally think, when I was 13 and first saw it, that it was decent. Maybe it was the hype, I recorded it off TV. Maybe it was the fact all the girls in my class raved over it. Whatever. Last time I’m listening to those suckers. 3.4/10

A hundred and ten inches? I don't believe you. That's way too big of a TV. That's almost ten feet.

He must have a projector.

And that 3.4 is harsh.

Hehe ok well not a TV as such, but i can get a pic

He's talking about his penis.

Winner

and yeah, that is a bit low Kor


I L Y!

You saying it deserves more? A 3.4 for me is Bad bordering on Kind of OK but Not Quite OK.

That's why you don't get cable, you get sky. And I would be able to get HD tv if my dad could be bothered to pay the extra for the hd channels.

I refuse to ever watch Dirty Dancing. I'd have to be paid I swear.

You require generous compensation? How much for the torture, sweetie?

£5 per excruciating minute and that's without the sound. I don't know how much that is in your foreign money though..

5 pounds here would be the equivalent of roughly $12-15.

Seeing as you can review tv shows in this thread, I'd just like to call dibs on reviewing Black Books, more specifically, the piano episode. I doubt many British people have seen it anyway and if any Americans/Australians have, well you're fucking hardcore.

I'VE... HAD... THE TIME OF MY LIIIIIFE... AND I'VE NEEEEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE. AND I SWEAR... THE ANSWER IS TRUUUUUUUUUUUUE... I OWE IT ALL TO YOUUUUUUUUU....

How was Bubba Hotep? or however you spell it

WHAT THE FUCK?!
I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO WATCH IT TOGETHER TODAY. FUCKING LIAR.

I wanna watch too!

Delta Farce (2007)
I saw this movie on it's opening weekend several months ago and I've been meaning to review it since.

Now, going into this movie, I wasn't the biggest fan of Larry the Cable Guy but after seeing it, my mind was changed. Not really on my opinion on good ole' boy Larry, but rather on the death penalty. Before seeing it, I was strongly against the death penalty, but after leaving I decided that it was justified in certain cases such as preventing crimes against humanity, such as another Larry the Cable Guy movie.

Larry was obviously not content with making theatre-owners in blue states renounce their God(s) with last year's shitfest "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" as this movie is equally cringe-inducing. You feel that stinging in the back of your head? It's not pride fucking with you, it's the sensation of brain cells being destroyed. Don't know what it's like? Imagine being deep-dicked in both ears by Ron Jeremy.
Don't know what that's like? Have you ever been cleaning your ears with a cue-tip and poked yourself in the brain (or it feels like your brain)? Take that and multiply the pain by 100000. That's Delta Farce right there.

Now to the story... (I may contain spoilers to keep you out of this movie.)

The story opens up with Larry the Cable Guy at some chicken place he works at (his character's supposed to be the success that all rednecks hope to be) where his girlfriend (who I don't know who's played by but she's fucking out of that fatass' league) tells him she's pregnant. He then gets on his knee to make an honest woman out of her when she tells him that (OH NOES!) the baby's not his. (In theatres they cut the scene where she tells him it's a colored's baby so Larry & company round up a posse to burn crosses on his lawn and lynch his family. I kid. That would be funnier than this movie.)

They then movie on to Bill Engvall and that scrawny guy from The New Guy 's characters. I can't remember them much. I think Bill Engvall was a pussywhipped family man and the other guy is a pedophile or something who lives in a storage locker.

They all take part in the National Guard or something where just the three of them shoot shit and drink beer (it's no different from a normal redneck lifestyle except they get paid). Just as they're all getting settled in some pissed off negro named Lt. Kilgore (nice name jackasses, somehow you made a stupider name than General Grevious). Kilgore comes in and informs them they all have to go to Iraq because we're losing the war (of course they don't say this, but we all know it's true). They go to basic training, fail, and are shipped off (of course this doesn't make sense and was used in Spies Like Us 20 years ago where the CIA sent out Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd as decoys to die at the hands of the Soviets).

When they get in the plane, the three pals go to sleep in a jeep. Somehow in a storm they get loose and fall out of the plane. The Kilgore guy also jumps onto something because he thinks they're fleeing and is trying to stop them from getting away.

Larry and crew wake up the next morning in the desert. They think they've been dropped in Iraq and start planning and shit. One of the dipshits finds the body of Kilgore who appears to be dead (naturally these dumbasses go against all logic and just bury the guy because checking to see if the guy is for pansy-ass-queer-homos). While leaving, they run over a sign which reads "Mexico City 500 km". This would position them at about Victoria City (at the most north). That means that even if they were to leave from the Southernmost point of Texas they would have to fly 200 miles IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION to be flying over Mexico. That's one hell of a storm.

After they bury Kilgore the Three Musketeers go off in one of their jeeps to try to find base or something. Along the way they see 2 "Iraqis" and their donkey. The skinny guy shoots at the donkey which falls instantly. The 3 morons make some HIlarious jokes about the "Shitties and the Turds" (ROLFMAOLOL!) before the donkey gets up. Everyone is relieved and they all go to the village of the Mexicans.

Meanwhile, Lt. Kilgore has come to and has dug himself out of his grave. He follows the jeep tracks to a gas station. While at the gas station he hitches a ride with 2 Mexicans who kidnap him and take him to their lair. The Mexicans turn out to be rapists (an "homage" [pronounced rip-off] of Pulp Fiction) and dress Kilgood in some womans dress (which is apparently needed to rape somebody in Mexico) before Kilgood kicks them out. For some reason Kilgood needs to be stripped, dolled up, and dressed in woman's clothing before he can do anything. Stupid drivel.

The Mexican village is being tormented by some Mexican guys so the brave Larry & crew manage to shoot at the gang (somehow the morons don't shoot anybody at all after firing hundreds of bullets ("South will rise again" my ass... How do they expect to win the race war?)).

Larry & Co save the village and meet the evil gang leader Carlos Santana (LOLOLOLOLROLMAMOS). He has a gay nephew. There's a lot of gay jokes. The jokes stink.

I think Larry's love interest gets captured by Santana. She gets saved and the village is happy. I'm not because now I'm down $6.50.

Nick's Rating:
0 out of 5 stars.

To sum up in one sentence:
I hope everyone involved in the making of this movie gets rectal cancer.

The title of "Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" may be the only funny thing he's ever done.

It's kind of depressing you know the words.

He's getting soft because he met a woman.



She has 50kb.
Jk Gripstah.

Huh? He met a woman?

Right there, at that moment, you scared the shit out of me. For a second I thought you were gonna say the movie was good. That's gotta be -bar none- the stupidest, shittiest movie I've seen in my entire life. I too saw it months ago, when I was kidnapped by my friends and forced to sit through the entire thing. Luckily, I brought my iPod®.
And we were the only ones in the theater, so my buddies pretty much yelled obscenities at the screen the whole time.

Consumerism's the best, yeah?

I own two seasons on DVD.

I AM hardcore.

Get the 3rd season ho. You haven't lived til you've seen the episode where manny's parents visit.

Give me time.
I have no monies. I only got the first two because my dad accidentally bought two copies of both. Or bought them and then got them again for a present or something.

I hate Dylan Moran with a fiery passion, but the show kicks ass.

I thought that would be the perfect hook. I was also kidnapped by my friends but I went along in hopes that we would movie hop until the 9:15 showing of Hot Fuzz. When I got in Hot Fuzz the fuckers decided they weren't going to go in and would rather go to the mall instead.

Eh, I'm gullible as hell, don't flatter yourself too much
Your friends are douches, they missed out on epic history.

Ooh. I want to see that movie, Hot Fuzz. Unfortunately I reside in an anus of a town with no such thing as a cinema and only one rental place and it hasn't come out in the weekly section yet.

Hot Fuzz was fucking excellence.

I'm going to marry Simon Pegg when I get around to it.

i completely agree [=

and im totally gunna beat you to him.

Don't you dare!!

*runz*

Accepted (2006)

Well, Accepted follows a classic storyline of an underdog doing what they can to pull something together to help their fellow misfits belong. Accepted is a story about a high school graduate who is rejected from numerous colleges he applied to. Him and his group of friends pull together their own environment where other rejects and misfits can have their own different learning experience. It has a good overall message, which is to follow your dreams. This is important for all ages of viewers.

Personally, I didn't love the movie so much that I'd have to buy it, but I also didn't mind it and I would watch it again. I love the fact that the area movies this are located, are sunny and an almost perfect neighborhood. It sort of gives you a feeling of relief, but at the same time, envy. Let's face it, not many people live that way. I thought the overall plot to the story was pretty good, although it reminded me too much of Orange County (2002). It wasn't laugh out loud hilarious, but you did have a laugh every once and a while. This I thank Jonah Hill for. His comic relief brought to the movie is almost a relief. I enjoy his work, and I am looking forward to watching Superbad. He shoots out those clever, intelligent remarks which turns every situation funny.


The movie wasn't too original in itself, but it was alright. I really didn't like how this movie ended. It ends with the victory of the underdog, and it shows how his parents are proud. I like when in these kinds of movies the do those 10 Years Later scenes at the end, so it doesn't leave you half filled in on the ending. I know, it's good to do this to let the viewers take the ending into their own minds and think of something in their own personal perspective. In a way it makes the movie more interesting, but with this kind of movie I find it just stupid. It could have turned out well, and was a chance for adding more comedy. they have some pretty unique characters that would have made a good ending.

An decent movie overall, I would recommend it, but depending on your taste in movies, it might be a worthy purchase.

7/10 (This one was kind of hard to rate.)