My friend showed me these jokes on a website and I thought they were hilarious. Post any others if you know them.



1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7. Shave.

8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

14. One word: Flatulence!

15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

16. Do Tai Chi exercises.

17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.

20. Meow occasionally.

21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

29. Leave a box between the doors.

30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

32. Start a sing-along.

33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

34. Play the harmonica.

35. Shadow box.

36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

37. Lean against the button panel.

38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

41. Bring a chair along.

42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

43. Blow spit bubbles.

44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.

49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.

52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"

53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.

54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.

55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part.

56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.

57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!"

58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.

59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.

60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.

Pure Gold
I so am trying the twister one, people are crazy enough to love it here.

I KNOW! Hit the button for the floor you want to go on. Stand and wait. Then get off at your floor! Gets 'em every time.

Hahaha lol

I lol'd at the "crouch in a corner and growl at people who get on".

EDIT: Yay! 200th post!

HAVE SAX SAX SAX SAX AND MROE SEX!!!

u so took wut i was gunna say

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fAPEUWowEc

I've seen a lot more. Those were the just ones my friend showed me.

Like another one is:

knock on the elevator door before you get off



hahahaha

Good ol Remi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkSPUDpe0U8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOBb6s1S_4Y...feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trig44ghwDY...feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0CThI9RtDY...feature=channel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIjwYK-iFkE

I'm scared of elevators.

Don't judge me.

hahaha

well then when the door opens just be like "uhhhhhh.....no I can't......but I have to get on....uhhh.....noooo" for like 15 minutes or until someone gets so angry they leave

Pretend you feel sick while you're going down and scream : "NOO! I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYMORE!" and other stuff.

Tried once and the woman beside me said : "SHOULD I CALL AN AMBULANCE?"
Woo.

m oon the camerA

my cousin stood in the corner saying " I HAVE TO PEE" and when someone asked him why don't you just get off he said " I HAVE TO GET TO THE TOP FLOOR" hahahahaha it was hilarious

bangity bang bang!

lololololol, that was my favourite.

61.sing naughty/akward showtunes for tips
62.run around running youre fingers thru the carpet saying DAMMIT where are my pet fleas!!!
63.swear repetedly and when youre asked to stop say ive got f*ckin terrets syndrome! i cant help it dumbsh*t!
64.sit in a fetal position in a corner sayin under youre breath 'i had to do it i had to that gun was loaded and he had a <insert random object here>' and keep repeating with variation

say "OOOOOOOH NO NOT AGAIN" randomly and pull out a caution spill sign right where you were standing

A Static Lullaby proved you could elevator mosh.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrfsRPVgqPw...feature=related
edit; near one minute mark

....
All of those were pretty funny.
Pie.

if i had to rip a huge one i would, jump up and down, scream, do a stupid dance, or take a leak in the corner and see if anyone who got on would smell it. obviously i would only do those things if no one else was on the elevator

That'd be awesome to elevator mosh

lol. these are pretty good. you could always poke the person next to you and when they yell at you to stop, start yelling at them for yelling at you and so on........

Stupid is Stupid.

Alright y'all admit it, who's pushed all the buttons then ran out? Badass mothafuckers.

61. Preach your religious beliefs to everyone riding. It annoyed the hell out of me.

Haha, I was on vacation before and me and my friend pushed all the button, a family came in to go to the pool downstairs so we got out, thinking we were going to get busted, and instead they went up, and stopped at every floor. It was hilarious.

8 10 and 20 were my favorites

Or do the Borat thing and run in naked hahahahaha just kidding

------------^
awesome movie

Someone should post a video of them doing one of them on youtube.

61. Wait patiently and refrain from doing meaningless, idiotic things so as to not appear a complete mental inept; simply waiting for your floor and departing quietly will suffice.

Wait till it's empty then lay down on the floor and put fake blood everywhere and wait for something to happen.

Smash bananas into the carpet.

Sit in a corner and cry.

Smash crying bananas into the corner.

Read a newspaper from 1985

Sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor.

keep walking in and out of the elevator trying to remember if it is your floor

and never get off haha

Scream the whole way down and wave your arms like you're on a roller coaster.

Block the door and don't let anyone off.

Close the door on people.

Open the door when it's about to close.

youre no fun and ps stop acting like youve never acted like a mental inept






scream Dammit! not another one! every time someone gets on
fart thrn sniff everywhere then stop at someone and stare at them like you want to kill them haha

When the elevator goes up, start crying "I wanna go down,I wanna go down!"

x

Press all the buttons like in "Elf". Then do insane dance moves to the elevator music. If there isn't any music scream a long tirade about how you really want elevator music. When you finally get off turn around just as the doors are closing and say "Wait I forgot to give you a hug!" (Also from "Elf")

lol oh i just recently found out kyle gass was in that movie

bring a cd player and play you favorite song
when your asked why just calmly say "I fucking hate elevator music"

All these posts are horrid.

You can suck my dick while on an elevator.

Someone done a poo in the elevator at work.
They must've been speedy.

I always read about couples having sex in elevators and I wonder how they had time? Even in really tall buildings, elevators are pretty speedy. And if they did it must be fairly pleasureless sex.

32. Start a sing-along.

Tell knock-knock jokes.