Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Man Mistakes Porno for Rape
Smosh Forums > General > General Discussion
Pages: 1, 2
Boxiom
QUOTE
OCONOMOWOC, Wis. (Feb. 21) - A man says he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped, but the sound actually was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbor was watching.

"Now I feel stupid," said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. "This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake."

According to a criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning Feb. 12, damaging the frame and lock.

"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the sword at the neighbor, the complaint said. "Where is she?"

Most Popular - Last 24 Hours

* Giant Sinkhole Swallows Homes, Killing Two
* Declaration of Independence Copy Sells for $2.48
* Cheney Says All Options on Table for Iran
* Judge Gives Smith Body to Baby's Guardian
* Rare Squid Could Be Largest Ever Hooked

The neighbor told police Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he had heard a woman being raped. The complaint said that, with the sword pointed at him, the neighbor led Van Iveren throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone.

The neighbor later played for police the part of the DVD he believed Van Iveren heard downstairs.

Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disorderly conduct, all while using a dangerous weapon, and is due in court March 5. Together, the misdemeanor counts carry a maximum sentence of 33 months in jail.

Van Iveren said Tuesday that he heard a woman "screaming for help," grabbed the sword, bounded up the stairs, kicked in the apartment door and confronted the man who lived there.

"I intended to hold it behind my back and knock. But I froze and instead, what happened happened," he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Contesting his neighbor's account, Van Iveren said he didn't look anywhere in the apartment except the front room, and that he never threatened the neighbor with the sword.

"I had the sword extended. But that was all," he said.

Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.

Police seized Van Iveren's sword, which he said was a family heirloom.

Source


LoLz?
emzab
Hahaha!
mot
That's mot's noob of the week biggrin.gif
troubleonarainyday
HA!
costa-k
notice how it says the sword weilding twat lived with his mother. That probably means he watched lord of the rings one too many times and thought he was going up there to save a princess and live happily ever after.
Swing that Smosh
Lolz indeed.
Mezelf_doc
ha tongue.gif lol
BasketCase
that must have been really awkward
fredman555
ahahaha nice
ImAClubSlut
laugh out loud
Shoreline
Poor Ian.
cracker25
*cough Politics *cough.
Leo_Woof
^ Not really.
This is just a stupid news story about a guy who lives with his mother and owns a sword.
Exsiss
Poor guy. They should have had more details on if the police believed that he actually thought it was a rape. I hope he doesn't get convicted.
cracker25
news = politics i think so. I know so.
Ale
ahahahaha
RainbowRockets
Ahaha that's too funny.
-N-
I hate when that happens!
everyday somebodys breaking into my house and thinks im being raped sad.gif
RogueSkaterX
LOL, i would feel so dumb!!!!

LMFAO!!!!!! biggrin.gif
vanitykills
hahahhahahahahaah
biggest dork ever
the sword part tipped me off on what a dweeb he was...then came the part where it said he still lived with his mother....
and why the hell don't they have a phone?
RainbowRockets
Maybe they can't afford a phone because he's so busy buying the latest lord of the rings comics. Hahaha.
[[.Ami.Rose.]]
QUOTE(vanitykills @ Feb. 24, 2007. 05:53 PM) [snapback]200612[/snapback]

and why the hell don't they have a phone?

If they had a phone he'd have to ring the police instead of playing hero every time he heard someone screaming rape.
rainydaze
dont be dissing swords you guys. i have a sword in my front hall, cuz its cool...but its samuri style...not lord of the rings style

haha could you imagine...that would be so crazy
costa-k
QUOTE(vanitykills @ Feb. 24, 2007. 09:53 AM) [snapback]200612[/snapback]

hahahhahahahahaah
biggest dork ever
the sword part tipped me off on what a dweeb he was...then came the part where it said he still lived with his mother....
and why the hell don't they have a phone?


too put it bluntly, nerds have no one to call
Kristandex
ahahahah. That must have been embarrassing.
playonwords
haha, that sucks.
well he had the right intention, if that was the truth.
he may have just heard the porn and wanted in on the action....
Evan the Amazing
It's obvious this dude has no social life. No phone? Lives with his mom? He probably doesn't even have a computer.
Gripster2000
I just love how they went out of their way to mention that he lives with his mother. It's not relevant at all.
R K O
That guy is a complete dumbass.
nba185
that's an awkard situation. man.
canadia_sucks_eh
bawhahahahahaha
thats halarious
Korangutang
What a noob. Owned.
BanG BanG.
That's...

LAWL.
DANGbang!
LMAO
violaninja
What I'm wondering is why that guy even had a sword in the first place. The only person I know who has a sword is my grandfather (he got it from Japan, back in the day when you could bring samurai swords on planes. to think you can barely bring nail clippers on planes today, and he brought a sword on a plane. sorry, off topic)
The Voice
Well.... Damn..... Haahahaha
Ass_Taffy
pfht lol
imupsidedownsometimes
No phone means no internets. It's hard to imagine someone being that big of a nerd without the internet.
ladyscore
you guys have it all wrong. obviously he has a phone, but didnt want to use it because he


nevermind, what i was going to say is stupid as hell and not even funny...why am i posting this then? spamming? bye.
protagonist
I wonder how the reporter who had to type this up managed to keep out more relevant, embarrassing details.

- "The porno graphic video, 'Anal Sluts XVII,' was a video the tenant watched often..."
- "The man remained confused even after a thorough explanation, testifying to police that he remains unaware of precisely what 'porno' entails..."
BrettS
lmao what a moron
ContagiouslyCute
Gosh don't cha just hate it when that happens.
barzda
haha i bet he was devestated
Nalinipio
LOL
Evil_thing_999
HAHA wtf a sword?! What a pussy ass bitch.
CLUBcrackersaretasty
I dont even care about the whole thing, that happens to me all the time. But the part that really makes me giggle is the sword part. What the hell does he think hes gonna do with a friggen sword?
Evan the Amazing
QUOTE(violaninja @ Feb. 24, 2007. 08:10 PM) [snapback]201379[/snapback]

What I'm wondering is why that guy even had a sword in the first place. The only person I know who has a sword is my grandfather (he got it from Japan, back in the day when you could bring samurai swords on planes. to think you can barely bring nail clippers on planes today, and he brought a sword on a plane. sorry, off topic)


It says right there in the article that is was a fucking HEIRLOOM. Jesus Christ you are a godamned idiot.
##pirategirl##
ahaha. how horrifyingly embarrassing
SuperJoyFulltime
haha! Weird
alexa
hahaha what an idiot. i think they purposely mentioned that he lived with his mother in the article JUST to make him look like even more of an moron. haha come ON 39??
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2010 Invision Power Services, Inc.